
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/9655031.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Kingdom_Hearts
  Relationship:
      Axel_&_Roxas, Lea_&_Roxas, Terra/Ventus, Lea/Ventus, Roxas_&_Terra, Riku
      &_Sora, Isa/Lea, Axel/Saix_(Kingdom_Hearts)
  Character:
      Axel_(Kingdom_Hearts), Lea_(Kingdom_Hearts), Roxas_(Kingdom_Hearts),
      Ventus_(Kingdom_Hearts), Terra_(Kingdom_Hearts), Aqua_(Kingdom_Hearts),
      Sora_(Kingdom_Hearts), Riku_(Kingdom_Hearts), Kairi_(Kingdom_Hearts),
      Braig, Xehanort, Isa_(Kingdom_Hearts), Vanitas_(Kingdom_Hearts)
  Additional Tags:
      Canon_Compliant, Sex, hot_make_outs, Cheating, Porn_With_Plot, Emo_af,
      Anal_Sex, Ace_Spectrum, Exploring_Sexuality, Oral_Sex, Hair_Pulling,
      Romance, Choking, dub-con
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-02-11 Updated: 2017-03-08 Chapters: 3/? Words: 20886
****** The Way You Remember Me ******
by wormsin
Summary
     Seven Guardians of Light versus Thirteen Seekers of Darkness. Lea
     isn't exactly sure where he fits into this Epic Destined Battle, but
     as a new keyblade wielder and friend of Sora's gang, he's along for
     the ride. They have to find the missing two keyblade wielders, Aqua's
     bffs. Much to his surprise, Ventus looks just like Roxas. No, is
     Roxas. Whatever. Lea doesn't care about the complexities as long as
     he can get hot and heavy with his favorite blonde.
     Then Terra shows up. Thus ensues a terrible love triangle. Now
     there's a complexity Lea can't just ignore.
Notes
     thanks for reading! this takes place right after dream drop distance
     and includes speculation as to what I think could happen in KHIII.
     it's canon-compliant-ish, except that everyone knows how to fuck
     (because let's be real, they're all babies and have been too busy to
     get comfortable in their sexuality). in some fics, Roxas and Ventus
     are separate people, which is very convenient for the Axel / Terra
     problem. not here. this is all about that problem. I'm apologizing in
     advance.
     underage -- in my head I've aged up/down some of the characters bc
     that makes sense. in my fic, Roxas/Ven is going on 17/29, Aqua is 20/
     30, Terra is 19/31, Lea is 19/25 (none of them have aged properly so
     that's their physical age and age from DOB), Sora is going on 17,
     Riku is 19, and Kairi is 16. in cannon, Roxas/Ven would be physically
     aged 14-15.
***** The Chamber of Waking *****
Lea knew it was him. Before they opened the doors to the Chamber of Waking, he
was flooded with memories so potent they were nearly blinding. Before he could
fully see the figure slumped in the throne, so soft and relaxed like he had
just nodded off moments ago, Lea knew. His heart tugged him forward, the name
in his mouth, a cry to wake the sleeping prince. The boy's eyes fluttered open.
”Ven!”
Roxas. Why did she call Roxas Ven?
 
-------
 
"Wait, what? You hid Ven's heart in me?!" Sora gaped at Aqua.
Lea rolled his eyes. Of course this other keyblade wielder was hidden in Sora's
heart, that boy had enough hearts or shards or whatever in his own to
constitute a small nation. Sora had everyone and the kitchen sink in his heart.
"I hid Ven away in the brightest place I could find," Aqua replied. "For some
reason, your heart was already touched by his. I didn't know exactly what I was
doing to be honest. Your heart — Sora, your heart can connect with others in a
way I’ve never heard of before. Not even in stories of the Old Masters.”
"Ven... is here." Sora touched his chest, thoughtfully, no doubt thinking of
all the people his heart had touched.
The sky over the courtyard at the Magical Tower was touched with brilliant pink
and littered with stars. The sky felt close on this tiny world, like you could
reach out and touch it. They had gathered naturally at the base of the tower
shortly after returning from Destiny Islands and the shores of the Dark World,
to discuss what to do next. Lea leaned against the tower wall near Riku, and
the others were arranged in a semi circle around them.
"That probably explains why you got a keyblade," Riku said neutrally. “Ven was
a keyblade master, right?”
"Hey what is that supposed to mean?!"
Lea kept his eyes on Sora's face but wasn't really listening to Aqua's
explanation and Sora's inquiries. Their situation was fucking complicated and
Lea didn't really sweat the details. The story was they needed seven guardians
of light to defeat the thirteen seekers of darkness. Four-ish lights were
currently there: Sora, Riku, Kairi, and Aqua. And maybe himself. That was still
up in the air. Sure, Lea had proven himself as a keyblade wielder by summoning
his key, which probably meant his heart wasn't complete trash. He enjoyed
kicking heartless and nobody ass, and was prepared to travel to the literal
ends of the worlds with his new friends. But a destined protector of light?
That sounded more like King Mickey. Lea the Guardian of Light -- it was a
hilarious fucking joke and it was a shame he had no one to share it with.
"So if Ventus is in my heart," Sora continued. "How do we get him out? The last
time something like this happened, I turned into a heartless for a bit."
"We are not repeating that again," Kairi said indignantly.
Aqua shook her head. "No. That won't be necessary. I know where Ventus's body
is, we just need to get you there. The rest should take care of itself."
"So," Riku asked, "Where is he?"
Aqua smiled sadly. "A place I made, when I locked away my home from the
darkness. It used to be called the Land of Departure, but now it goes by a
different name. Castle Oblivion."
 
-------
 
"It's fucking wild being back here." Lea's voice echoed in the huge hall along
with the party's footsteps on marble. The entrance of Castle Oblivion was as
magnificent and cold as he remembered, all white stone with intricate carvings.
This place always felt empty, eerily so, like it longed to be full of life.
"You're telling me," Riku said with a grimace, blue eyes sweeping the hall for
any dangers.
"Yeah, but this time it's different," Sora said with a grin, hands resting
carefree on the back of his head. He looked at Lea. "This time we're friends!"
Lea chuckled. "Heh, yeah." This place was the blank slate upon with, without
memories, he reimagined himself. Nobodies had no hearts, so they had no
memories or, it was said, emotions. Each member of Organization XIII had their
own way of filling that void: games, obsessions, or facsimiles of emotion. They
tried to fill this hollow white castle with life, as if they were people. Their
attempts were pathetic. Lea remembered being detached and hollow, manipulating
every interaction behind a mask of humor and laziness. He truly felt nothing
back then. Then, when Roxas arrived, he felt real for the first time, like he
was occupying his body instead of being its puppeteer. Laughter was no longer
an unfeeling reaction. He enjoyed the taste of ice cream. There was this
inexplicable pain in his chest that kept him awake at night. As he formed
memories, he clutched them tightly, each fond moment with his friend an
anticipated loss as it slipped inevitably into the past. Time was a cruel
bitch. "Well, as fond as I am of my time living in this pretty prison," Lea
said nonchalantly, "I'm glad to see the previous occupants vacated."
"You lived here?" Aqua asked as the group began to ascend the staircase,
genuinely surprised.
"Yup. Me and the rest of sad-amnesiac club."
Aqua's step faltered. "You. Were part of Organization XIII."
"Ding ding ding!" Lea exclaimed. "We have a winner!" He turned to give her a
wink. "Don't worry though, I'm reformed."
Aqua's face stayed serious, much to Lea's disappointment. What was he going to
get from her: pity or anger? The first would be intolerable. "I'm sorry," she
said, and Lea stifled a groan. "I didn't know. There's a lot that I missed in
the last 13 years."
"Aw, what are you apologizing for?"
Aqua shrugged.
Lea shook a finger at her. "Then don't say sorry. Hell, I hardly know anything
about you and the dudes we're rescuing. I'm sure there's plenty of surprises in
store, and I'm sure as hell not going to apologize for not knowing something."
 
-------
 
The room they were in. Lea recognized it; it was almost the same as the Chamber
of Repose, where Xemnas went to have his precious me-time. The few times Lea
had seen it, well, those memories were not worth reliving. But here, now, it
was Roxas on the throne. Roxas, who couldn't be revived like the other members
because his person was Sora. Roxas, who only existed as the way Lea remembered
him. Lea could only watch as Aqua embraced Roxas, who was confused and blinking
away the light. "Aqua - what? What happened?" Aqua laughed and picked Roxas up,
twirling in a circle. "You're back," she choked, holding him close. "You're
here. Ven, Ven, i've been looking for so long." She reluctantly let a hand off
him to brush tears from her eyes.
In the background, Lea's mind was making connections. The room Xemnas had
ordered him to search for. Roxas looking different from Sora. Roxas wielding
two keyblades. Roxas. Lea was paralyzed.
Sora skipped forward, proffering a hand. "Nice to meet you, Ven! Well, I guess
it's not really meeting, is it?"
Roxas looked at the other boy, and it was clear the gears in his mind were
clogged. "Sora?"
"That's my name! Hey, do you remember me? And why do you look like Roxas?"
"Why don't you give him some space, doofus!" Kairi exclaimed, and then they
were laughing, and the room was so white, and Roxas was ten feet away, and Lea
felt so cold.
"Look what the cat dragged in," Lea said, hand on his hip, hiding as he always
did behind a smirk. Truthfully, he was terrified - that this wasn't Roxas, that
he didn't remember him. It was, frankly, too much. How could he be expected to
handle the possibility of Roxas being alive, only to lose him again? Fuck that.
The blonde kid finally looked at him, eyes wide with a mess of emotions Lea so
desperately wished he could read. His heart hammered in his chest. The moment
lasted for fucking years.
"Axel?"
Hearing that was like the first clear breath of air after drowning. It took
everything he had to stay on his feet, fight back tears and the tightness in
his throat. Oh merciful God if you exist thank you so fucking much. The others
were speaking but Roxas was still looking at him, and that was all that
mattered. He might have been the only one to hear what Roxas - Ven?- said
amidst the jubilant reunion; and he couldn't miss it because his eyes were
trained on his face, his lips, Lea's ears only for him.
Roxas looked away and said, "I remember everything."
 
-------
 
It was too much. Too much joy at seeing his friends, too many memories, too
many versions of himself trying to make sense of everything, too much time
lost. His life was lived backwards. What felt most recent was when he
remembered nothing, a brief and hollow life. Further back was his year with
Organization XIII. And before that: a whole entire life. He barely recognized
the person he was originally, whose heart was full to bursting with light in
such painful contrast to his time as a nobody. Could he really have lived all
these lives? The memories hit him one after the other, impatient for
recognition. But there was something else in his heart that hadn't been there
for years. Something dark.
They had returned to the sanctuary of the Magical Tower. Ven - Roxas - whoever
he was, had to get away from everyone and left dinner early with an excuse and
a nearly untouched plate. It wasn't that he was unhappy to see his friends,
quite the opposite. All the feelings and memories were just too much to handle
while being in the group. So, he made his way down the spiral staircase of
Yensid's tower and out to the garden. He spent some time wandering through the
hedges and flowerbeds. He let his mind drift. This world reminded him a bit of
The Land of Departure, where he had trained with Aqua and Terra. But the tower
itself made him think of the Clock Tower in Twilight Town, where he and Axel
had sat so many times eating sea salt icecream. Him and Axel and -
He clutched his chest which burned painfully and for a moment the world spun.
It was hard to breathe. Someone else had been there. A small woman in the
organization's black cloak floated in his mind's eye for a moment, and he tried
desperately to hold on to her, but in the next moment she was gone. He hung his
head, shoulders shaking. Slowly, he remembered how to breathe. The wind
whispered through the trees, and somewhere behind him a lamp turned on as the
last light faded from the sky. Fireflies woke up as if by queue, mirroring the
stars up above.
Twilight Town. Organization XIII. The keyblades - that was it! He extended one
arm and then the other. The keyblades were attached to his heart, they would
give him a clue as to who he really was. In a flash of light, his keyblades
appeared, one in each hand. He stared at them. He did have two, but they
weren't Oathkeeper and Oblivion -- in his hands was the keyblade he wielded as
Ventus, and... One he didn't recognize. It was black and white, with a halberd-
like tip adorned with four deadly spikes. He examined them both, feeling the
weight of them in his hands, puzzling out the design. With two strikes forward
he tested the blades. They felt right, but didn't give him any clarity.
Sighing, he dropped his hands and the blades vanished.
"You know, if you want to practice, we have a training arena." Roxas turned at
the sound of Axel's voice. It was strange to see him in clothes other than the
black cloak. He wore oversized cargo shorts and a sleeveless black vest with
red and orange pockets. Slouching in a way only an exceptionally lanky person
could make look good. It was still Axel, even if the marks under his eyes were
gone.
"I just needed some fresh air," Roxas replied, a bit shakily. Axel brought
back... a lot of memories. All of them sweet and salty like the ice cream they
shared together. The honey of his jester's voice. His unwavering gaze. The
slope of his shoulders. The way he ran his hand through his hair.
"Well," Axel said in a familiar mocking tone, "don't let me interrupt your
breathing."
Roxas snorted. "Shut up. You're not interrupting anything."
At that remark Axel strut forward, hands thrust in his pockets, until he was a
few feet away. Roxas felt heat rise in his cheeks, just from being close to him
- fuck - but all the memories and the way Axel looked him up and down was just
too much. "You're back," Axel said simply.
"Yeah."
"Do you remember me this time, ooorr are we gonna have to do this all over
again?"
Roxas shook his head. "No, I remember it all, at least I think I do. I remember
every day I was in the organization, and what came after, and... before."
"Before you became a nobody. Yeeaaah, I remember who I was too. Name's Lea, got
it memorized?" He winked, and Roxas blushed outright.
"Lea?" He tested the name on his tongue.
Axel spread out his arms in a shrug. "Not that I mind if you call me Axel, it's
just a name, right?"
"Just... a name." Roxas wasn't so sure. He felt different now than from each
version of himself he remembered. Ventus was optimistic and laughed easily,
whereas Roxas was depressed and often frustrated. And then the simulacrum life
he lead in Twilight Town -- his family, his friends, his normal life -- that
Roxas never even existed. He began to feel nauseous, and his vision clouded. He
shook his head. Best not to think about it all at once.
"Hey, are you alright?" Axel leaned in close, and as Roxas looked up he felt
dizzy again but it had nothing to do with memories.
"I don't know," he said honestly, heart racing. "I think I need time to adjust
to this. To sort myself out. It's overwhelming." Axel was just a step away. He
was so aware of the space between them, and the fact that they hadn't touched
yet made his chest unspeakably tight. But he couldn't reach out either. He was
stuck in Axel's blue-green eyes, hoping that the other man knew what he wanted
better than he did himself.
"Time, yeah." Axel ran his hand through his hair, glancing away for just a
second. "That makes sense. I should give you time."
Roxas' heart sank.
"But the problem is, I thought you were dead. I was very sure that I would
never see you again. And you see, that fucking broke my heart." His eyes
flashed with a spark of fire. Axel reached out and cupped Roxas's cheek, two
fingers resting just behind his ear, and he shuddered at the touch. That hand
brought back so many tactile memories that burned through his body. "So you'll
understand," Axel continued, licking his lips - god. "If I don't give you much
time."
And then he was in Axel's embrace, the other man holding him tightly with one
hand on the back of his head. Roxas was pressed into the crook of Axel's collar
and neck, and he inhaled deeply, the smell an even more potent memory that
throbbed through him. Axel had his head bent, so his words rumbled close to his
ear. "Roxas, Roxas. Just let me hold you for a second longer." The hand on his
head moved lower, and then Axel was squeezing him at the waist just right to
lift him to his toes. Roxas gasped. He snaked his arms under Axel's and gripped
the top of his shoulders, nosing his neck. He felt so warm and safe.
They stayed there like that for a few minutes, Roxas rubbing delicate circles
into Axel's shoulders, heads leaning together. Slowly, he began to relax, and
the onslaught of memories quieted into a trickling stream. "You should kiss
me," Roxas muttered without thinking, and Axel breathed in sharply. Roxas
blushed but he felt too relieved to be embarrassed. Axel relaxed his grip on
Roxas's waist, and then their foreheads were pressed together, breath falling
on each other's lips. Axel traced his hand up to his neck, a low moan in his
throat. Roxas made to kiss him, but Axel kept them apart by an inch. "Wh-what?"
Roxas asked.
"Shhh," Axel replied, quelling Roxas's fears of rejection. "Wait. I'm
committing this to memory."
One held breath later Axel was kissing him firmly, and the rest of the world
fell away. Roxas couldn't think when those plush lips were on his, and that was
a blessing. Roxas leaned into the kiss, opening his mouth with a small moan.
Axel's mouth was burning. The man was a fire and Roxas was engulfed, deepening
the kiss, raking his hands through spiked red hair and drawing out a growl from
the other man. Their breathing was heavy, and hands moved desperately to touch
every inch that was neglected by time. Greedy. Impatient.
"Damn, kid," Axel muttered, pausing for breath. "You still know how to rile me
up."
"You're easy," Roxas panted with a smirk.
"Oh ho ho. Do you want me to get difficult?" Axel massaged the base of his
skull, nails occasionally scratching the skin lightly. The words nearly made
him shudder. That jerk had a voice that could take Roxas apart.
"I'm sure i can handle it," Roxas challenged. Being taken apart was rather
appealing right now.
Axel took a fist full of Roxas' hair and gripped hard, eliciting a cry from the
younger man. Axel moved them swiftly until Roxas' back was against the garden
wall, whimpering from the mistreatment of his scalp. Axel kissed him hard for a
moment before exposing his neck with another pull and - oh, that was not fair.
Roxas wasn't sure how he did that with his mouth, or why that spot behind his
tendon made his toes curl. He was trembling and his face burned. Axel had
loosened his grip but his hand remained threateningly entangled in Roxas' hair.
He bit back a moan, determined to not let Axel win, though the jerk had a thumb
under his waistband just inside the hip, and he kissed up Roxas' neck towards
the ear -- Roxas needed the upper hand fast before he melted into a fucking
puddle.
"You sound like you're enjoying this," Axel teased into his ear.
"You feel like you're enjoying this." Axel rolled his hips and practically
purred. Fuck. This man was shameless. Roxas placed his hands on the small of
Axel's back, pushing slightly. "You sure you can handle me?" Axel mocked,
nipping Roxas's ear.
He snorted - what a fucking obvious move, and so cheesy. This was familiar:
Roxas would tease back, and Axel would get more aggressive until Roxas was at
his mercy. But Axel could be beaten too, and then he would worship and beg so
sweetly.
"I can dial it back," Axel muttered, both hands on Roxas' hips now.
"I know," Roxas replied. Axel was always paying attention to Roxas, asking
directly or indirectly before initiating something new. They were familiar with
each other. He didn't want him to stop, but suddenly he felt nauseous again. He
was also so tired. He leaned his head against the wall, and Axel continued to
kiss his neck more gently. The stream of thoughts and recollections surged,
competing with his desire. He took a deep breath. What he really wanted was to
feel safe. "Can we just... snuggle?" Roxas asked shyly. "I'm so tired."
Axel chuckled, and kissed both of his cheeks. "Sure. Whatever you want, kid."
 
-------
 
Lea woke up to a bright beam of sunlight invading the soft darkness of his bed.
He grumbled half-formed curses, and turned over. Something warm was there.
Good. He cuddled up and wrapped his arms around the other figure, humming
contentedly. Slowly, he drifted awake and became aware of the person he was
holding. Lea pressed his cheek against the top of Roxas's head. "Please don't
be a dream," he slurred.
Roxas snorted, and turned into Lea's embrace. "I don't know if you're awake or
not, so maybe I am a dream,” came a lazy voice.
Lea pouted. "Don't be mean to me." He ran a hand up and down Roxas's back.
Definitely flesh. Roxas pressed closer to him, and began nosing his way up from
Lea's collarbone. Lea shifted slowly, eyes still sleepy, until they were face
to face. Soft lips on his. Roxas's lips were so soft it was a crime. He kissed
back lazily. If this was a dream, he didn't want to wake up.
Roxas teased his lips with his tongue, and Lea complied with his desire,
sucking on a lip and being more bold. Kissing Roxas was something he could do
for years. He particularly liked when their tongues moved in tandem, strong
muscles pressed together. He was starting to wake up for real now. Roxas was
initiating, which meant he probably wanted more than just a hot make out. So
Lea moved his hand lower, squeezing his ass. Roxas moaned, pressing up against
Lea to get some friction. Lea tried to catch his tongue, and when he did,
sucked on it. Roxas gasped, caught. I’ve got you now. They were both starting
to get hard.
Roxas slipped his hand under Lea's shirt, brushing his nipple. Lea moved to his
neck - another place he could kiss for hours. Ok, maybe he could kiss him
anywhere for hours. Forget the seekers of darkness, Lea had a mission to kiss
every inch of this kid.
"Axel," Roxas shuddered, hands rubbing circles around his hipbone. "I... can
we..."
"Anything," Lea said at once. "Everything you want. Tell me." He rolled on top
of Roxas, this time licking and sucking his ear. The noises Roxas made were
addicting. He knew Roxas was shy about talking explicitly, a problem Lea
certainly didn't have. "I can make suggestions," he whispered, rubbing his lip
over Roxas’s ear. The way he whined. Lea grinned. He was being mean, but he
couldn't help it. "I could take you in my mouth and fuck you with my hand."
Roxas gasped, fingers digging into Lea's hips. "I could bend you over this
bed," he continued, voice low. "Or I could ride you so slow you'll want to kill
me."
"Axel--" The kid's face was bright red, and his eyes were heavy with desire.
"Whatever you want, just, just make it so I can't think."
Lea's heart leaped into his throat. There was that heartache again. He kissed
Roxas, moaning loudly. Why did his heart hurt? Lea shed his shirt and briefs,
and helped Roxas do the same, making sure to kiss his legs at least once every
second. He had to leave the bed for a moment to get supplies and practically
ran back. Roxas was already so hard, so Lea didn't touch him directly, instead
smoothed his hands over his body, pulling Roxas on top. Lea squeezed his ass
with both hands (thank god for long arms) and slid a finger down from his
tailbone. Fuck. Roxas was shaking. His dick bobbed against Lea's stomach. He
opened the bottle of lube and warmed some between his fingers. He teased
Roxas's rim, slowly, offering just a bit of pressure.
Roxas rest his head next to Lea's, whimpering. Lea worked his finger so slowly,
until Roxas was thrusting his hips back to get him deeper. This position wasn't
great for depth, but he squeezed in another finger, giving quick, shallow
thrusts. "Oh ffffffuck," Roxas gasped. Each breath was loud and hitched. “Axel.
More.”
Make it so I can’t think. Take this adorable kid apart and fuck him senseless?
Sign Lea up. Still, there was something in his voice that made Lea ache, feel
desperate not to get off, but — desperate.
Lea guided Roxas onto his back and kneeled between his legs. He was spread out
before him, face flushed, legs quaking. What a sight. Embarrassed, Roxas turned
his head into the pillow. “You’re staring.”
“You’re gorgeous.” Lea began working him open again. Had to try to keep his
breath steady. From this angle he could get deeper, curling his finger in
search of the spot that would undo the man writhing before him. Roxas dug his
heel into Lea’s thigh, tilting his hips, God have mercy. He was warm velvet
around Lea’s fingers, slick, hungry. Lea found that spot and Roxas let out a
strangled cry. “Fuck! Please.” Roxas reached to stroke himself, but Lea took
his hand away to the sound of more begging. He kissed the captured hand. Roxas
was tense around him, clenching his teeth around the noises he was forced to
make. “Relax,” Lea instructed. “Just let me take care of you.”
Roxas let out a sob. Lea leaned in and kissed him, fucked him with his hand.
Lea was almost unbearably hard. As long as he focused on Roxas, he could stave
off his orgasm for a while, but he was starting to lose it. He reached for the
condom, reluctantly taking his fingers from Roxas, who just kept mouthing
“please” “please”. He put the condom on and slicked himself up. His heart was
racing, he was on fire. Roxas wrapped his legs around him, and Lea lifted his
hips. They locked eyes. Don’t look away, Lea thought, or maybe said — Roxas
didn’t. Eyes dark with wide pupils. Lea slid into him and they held gaze until
they couldn’t bear it, until it was blinding, crashing into each other like a
wave rolling, rolling, rolling. Lea was gone. Hands raking his sweaty back,
making rhythm with their bodies, making ungodly noises. Roxas. Roxas. Roxas. He
stroked him and when Roxas came, Lea felt it, stroked him through it. Fuck.
Lea came and his vision went white. Nothing but light. Nothing else.
Reality returned, and Lea slipped out as gently as he could, insanely
sensitive, before collapsing on the bed. They lay there, panting. It was like
waking up from a dream. Slowly he returned to himself and a reality where he
was separate. He drew Roxas into his arms, holding him close. The other man was
breathing tensely. Lea kissed his forehead. But Roxas’s breathing didn’t return
to normal.
”I’m sorry,” Roxas said, and Lea adjusted to look at his face. “I don’t know
why I’m crying. Heh.”
Lea gave him a squeeze. “No worries. Is anything wrong? I mean, was there
anything I did?”
”No! It’s not — it was good, that felt good. I just.” Roxas took a shuddering
breath. Lea felt the tears wet on his chest. “I just. Feel like crying? I don’t
know why.”
Lea chuckled, kissed the top of his head. “That’s alright. You can cry as much
as you want to.” He kind of understood it. There was a part of him that wanted
to cry as well. But Roxas was in his arms, and that felt right. Lea engraved
the moment into his memory.
 
------
 
The wind howled through the wastes with clouds of dust obscuring everything
save the unnatural rock formations above. The ruins of the battlefield came in
and out of view, broken keyblades flickering in the dust. Lea skidded back into
a hedge of keyblades, nearly dropping to his knee. He grabbed a potion from his
pocket, but before he could drink it the dust before him sucked into a vacuum
as his enemy leaped forward. Lea just managed to roll out of the way and chug
the potion before Braig opened fire, bullets pinging off keyblades and sinking
into the ground with bursts of dust.
Lea sent out a bolt of fire, which Braig easily dodged. "I miss the chakrams,
Axel," Braig mocked in a lazy voice. He kept Lea moving by shooting arcs of
bullets towards him. "The keyblade doesn't suit you at all."
"You're right," Lea panted. "I'd be better suited sticking out of your chest."
He dashed forward, his attack deflected but he was close enough to initiate a
flaming spin which sent Braig flying backwards. Lea lunged forward, determine
to beat Braig down with combos before he could get distance and start shooting
again. Around them in the dust storm were colorful flashes of magic and the
sound of battle. If he was fighting Braig alone, that meant the others could
team up against the other opponents. But he did not want to be facing Braig
alone. He knew he was losing.
Braig teleported away and Lea felt the rain of bullets land on his back. Lea
spun and threw up a block, but Braig was gone - fuck. The hit came from another
angle and this time Lea fell to the ground.
"Looks like this is the end to your keyblade act." Braig's boots stomped
towards him. "Take a bow."
"Fuck you!" Lea let out a wide blast of magic, less fire and more heat that
pushed back the dust clouds in every direction. He could see the battlefield
again: Sora, Riku, and Kairi fighting a large hooded figure whose face was
obscured; and Roxas and Aqua facing down an animated suit of armor and a kid in
the organization's cloak. He tried to get up, but Braig shot his wrist out from
under him.
"Bow."
Lea rolled, desperate for footing, but every attempt to rise was met with a
bullet knocking him down.
"Bow."
"Bow."
"The audience loves you!"
"Encore! Encore!"
Lea heard the guns go off again, and then the bright ringing of a shield. Sora
had dashed in front of him. "Get up Lea!"
He spat blood into the ground. "Right." Shaking he finally rose to his feet,
and Sora healed him.
"You're ruining the show!" Braig yelled as the two stood back to back,
deflecting his shots. "He's frustrated," Lea said to Sora. "That means he'll
get sloppy. Wait for him to charge in." Sora nodded.
 
-------
 
Terra's armor was caked in dirt which crumbled away like the armor itself was
dissolving. As Aqua and Ven fought it, more dirt broke off, exposing the metal,
not gold like Ven remembered but rusted and tarnished. With every blow to the
armor, Ven screamed, "TERRA!" At first he was desperate to wake his friend,
then enraged.
"TERRA! TERRA!"
Aqua was shouting as well. Between the two of them they could deflect and knock
back the armor. But they were unwilling to land critical blows. Although the
armor couldn't beat them, it did prevent them from getting to the boy in the
cloak. The boy who was just standing there. Watching them fight their friend
with a slight smile. Ven wanted to kill him. The stranger was around his age,
with brown skin and long silver hair. He looked a bit like Riku, a bit like
younger Terra, and a lot like Xemnas. His hands were folded behind his back,
and occasionally he would jump out of reach as Terra's armor ceded ground.
"Who are you?!" Aqua cried. When there was no response, she sent a chain of ice
towards him, but the armor leaped in the way of the attack. Ven winced. He
didn't know if Terra was really in there, but it hurt him all the same to see
the armor so damaged and neglected. Aqua charged towards the stranger, using
the armor's ice-slowed movement to get in close, her keyblade moving faster
than the eye could see --
The stranger sent her flying with a mere gesture. She skidded on the ground
brutally, and Ven rushed towards her. The stranger walked in front of his path,
facing him square on. Ven came to a sudden halt, holding his keyblades before
him, anticipating an attack. But none came.
"What do you want?" Ven cried in frustration.
The stranger cocked his head.
Suddenly, Ven was pinned between metal as the armor wrapped him in a vice tight
embrace. He writhed, and Aqua let out out a sharp cry. The armor squeezed him
so tight he began to feel dizzy. "A failed experiment," were the first words
out of the stranger and his voice sounded so familiar. "It's a pity. You had so
much potential. But the light and the dark cannot be severed from each other."
"What are you... talking about?" Ven choked out.
The stranger chuckled.
"Let him go!" Aqua came racing up, brandishing her key blade.
The stranger turned on his heel, warning, "Ah-a-a." The armor squeezed Ven
tighter and he saw stars. "Don't interrupt our conversation."
Aqua stopped in her tracks, and her gaze was murderous.
"Now then," the stranger continued. "I'm talking, Ventus, about your
repentance. You've caused a lot of pain, and now it's time for you to live with
it." He raised a hand, and it was engulfed in shadows. Ven jerked against the
armor but it was no use. The stranger reached towards Ven's chest and twisted.
Click.
Ventus didn't understand what happened next. He was bent over double, blinded
by pain and anger and desperation. His heart surged with feelings both familiar
and strange, and he was so overwhelmed he nearly fainted. Darkness. Was there
darkness in his heart? 
"Don't touch him!" Terra's voice. The armor above him was filled with light,
rays bursting through the seams. There was chaos, and he caught a glimpse of
the stranger walking through a portal of darkness, and the pain faded away. He
looked up and realized that the armor was holding him, but gently this time.
The helmet came off.
"Terra!"
 
-------
 
Braig retreated into a portal of darkness, face twisted in fury. The dust storm
had passed, and Lea could see two other retreating figures disappear into
portals. Something was happening by Aqua and the armor, and everyone dashed
over. Lea was still riding on the tenuous high of battle, and when he saw Roxas
prone in the armor's lap he nearly combusted everyone in the vicinity.
Adrenaline pumped through him, but that flame quickly died. He didn't know what
was happening but his heart understood, saw the way Roxas and the other man
looked at each other, heard the wrong name on the wind. Aqua, Roxas, and the
new guy fell into a tearful hug; Riku, Sora, and Kairi looked weary from the
fight but were smiling while watching the reunion; and Lea-- Lea stood alone.
***** Radiant Garden *****
Chapter Summary
     Terra had a thing for Roxas. It was embarrassingly obvious. Of
     course, Lea thought Roxas was the most adorable guy in the world,
     with a catch-you-off-your-guard-sexiness that was Lea's ultimate
     weakness. It's not like he could blame Terra for looking. But Terra
     wasn't staring at his cute ass. Terra looked at Roxas like he was the
     brightest thing in the room. Major feelings alert.
     Was Lea the type of man who would be friendly as a way to scope out
     the competition, while shooting flirty glances at Roxas at every
     opportunity? Absolutely he was. He wasn't about to lose Roxas right
     after he got him back. Lea knew how to play dirty, too.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The key blade wielders moved their base of operations to Radiant Garden, in an
estate on the castle grounds that used to belong to Kairi's grandmother. Merlin
taught them magic in his ramshackle house in the city below, and the two
keyblade masters Aqua and Riku trained them in the castle courtyard. Their days
were spent training for the mastery exam, and preparing for missions to the
other worlds.
They didn't know if Xehanort had yet returned in his thirteen vessels, but
rumors came to them from the outside worlds of mysterious figures in black
cloaks, and seeds of darkness coming into bloom. New worlds that had previously
been unaccessible now appeared, and it was up to them to keep them safe from
the battle over Kingdom Hearts. Mikey, Donald, and Goofy were often away
investigating, reporting back to Radiant Guardian when they turned up something
sinister.
Seven guardians of light pitted against thirteen seekers of darkness, their
inevitable clash creating the x-blade. Sora, Riku, Kairi, Ven, Terra, Aqua, Lea
and Mikey. Lea wondered if he really was a guardian. If he was, did that mean
Kairi, the other newest keyblade wielder, wasn't? Or, even less likely, was
Mikey not one of the seven? The more he thought about it, the more it felt like
he was playing at being hero and that, eventually, he would be discarded like
the odd one out he was.
So he threw himself into his training, spending more hours than anyone testing
his strength. If he could pass the mastery exam, maybe he could stay. He worked
fire magic against Merlin's dummies until he was spent. He demanded more from
Aqua and Riku, dueling until he couldn't stand, mocking them from going easy on
him. Aqua refused to allow him potions in training, but Riku seemed to
understand. When no one else was training, sometimes the middle of the night,
Riku would lay into him until they ran out of potions or Riku insisted that
they stop.
It was in the first few days that Lea officially met Terra. "Name's Lea, got it
memorized?" "Terra. Nice to meet you." They clasped hands.
Of course, Lea couldn't resist challenging him. Swaggering out to the dueling
area, Lea asked in his liquid drawl, "So, are you also a Master?"
Terra shook his head. "No. I failed the mastery exam the first time I took it.
My heart was... weak to the darkness."
"You don't say." Lea turned around, hand on hip. Roxas was watching, and he was
prepared to put on a show for the kid. "Well listen up," he said, pointing at
Terra, "because I'm going to get the mark of mastery before you."
"Is that so?" Terra chuckled. "You sure are confident."
Lea grinned, cocked his head. "Why don't you step into the ring, and I'll show
you why I'm confident."
Terra accepted the challenge and they began a friendly duel. Lea moved with
flair and excess, while Terra was stalwart and consistent. Lea showed off,
sure, but he wasn't stupid. Let the other man think him cocky (no denying
that), and careless (which he was not). Terra easily countered and replied to
Lea's flashy moves. After they got warmed up, Lea put his plan into action: he
left himself open on purpose, and Terra took the bait, swinging to Lea's blind
side. Lea moved like lightning, their keyblades clashed above their heads, and
with his free hand Lea blasted Terra with fire straight to the chest.
Terra leaped backwards. The fire magic was nothing serious of course. Lea
glanced to the sidelines, pleased to see that Roxas was watching him. Good.
Keep your eyes on me. Terra laughed, and adjusted the grip on his keyblade.
"Not bad." Then he charged.
Their duel lasted a solid ten minutes before both of them were exhausted. They
were well matched against each other, and both landed only a few soft blows. At
this point, they were too worn out to be at top form. "How about we call it a
draw?" Terra asked.
Lea shifted out of battle stance and ran a hand through his hair, his brow and
back sweaty. "Until next time, then," he replied with a grin. And then, because
he was shameless, "I could stand seeing more of your moves." Flirtation was one
of Lea's favorite ways to keep someone on their feet, but Terra didn't bat an
eye. Oh well.
Lea spent some time hanging around Terra and Aqua (and of course, Roxas) and
decided that Terra was an alright dude. Not that funny. But a solid dude.
Still, there was a problem, and it didn't take Lea long to confirm his
suspicions: Terra had a thing for Roxas. It was embarrassingly obvious. Of
course, Lea thought Roxas was the most adorable guy in the world, with a catch-
you-off-your-guard-sexiness that was Lea's ultimate weakness. It's not like he
could blame Terra for looking. But Terra wasn't staring at his cute ass. Terra
looked at Roxas like he was the brightest thing in the room. Major feelings
alert.
Was Lea the type of man who would be friendly as a way to scope out the
competition, while shooting flirty glances at Roxas at every opportunity?
Absolutely he was. He wasn't about to lose Roxas right after he got him back.
Lea knew how to play dirty, too. It wasn't that Lea was possessive or jealous
(yet). Roxas could do whatever and whomever he pleased as far as Lea was
concerned. He would just seduce Roxas back into his arms if need be. The others
didn't know about them, or at least, they were more stealth than the open
secret that was Riku and Sora. It just didn't feel like anyone else's business.
Lea flirted with everyone, so he could get away with teasing Roxas publicly
without drawing attention. Roxas wasn't paying him much attention though, and
Lea couldn't get him alone to whisper obscene things in his ear. Whatever. He
could wait.
 
-------
 
Aqua, Terra, and Ven were lying on a grassy slope overlooking the shingled
rooftops of downtown Radiant Garden. The sun was setting, bathing the view in a
pink glow and dark purple shadows. Their hands loosely touched each other, an
affirmation that they were here together.
Aqua spoke, staring up at the first stars of the dusk sky. "I wandered the
darkness for so long. I still can't believe it was nearly a decade. It felt
like an eternity, like -- like hours. I don't know, time was broken, but..."
She touched her chest, pain in her face. "I can feel how long it was. Alone.
Searching for a way out, to you two."
Ventus took her hand and squeezed it. She let out a deep breath, and continued.
"When I was in that place, I nearly lost myself completely. I thought I was
going insane. I still don't know if I can trust myself."
"I know what you mean," Terra said in a low voice. "The darkness, it makes you
doubt everything. But you did survive it, intact."
"So did you," Aqua pointed out.
Terra was silent for a moment. A pair of birds swung through the sky above
them. "I'm not so sure," he said, as if he hardly dared voice the fear aloud.
Ventus felt a pang in his chest at the words. "I'm here now, but I don't know
what happened to me. What was Xehanort, and what was me? Like... I don't know
who I was. And the darkness tells me what I don't want to believe."
"Terra," Ven said. "What Xehanort did was not your fault. That wasn't you."
"I know," Terra said. "I just sometimes doubt it."
"When I was in the darkness, both of you helped me get through," Aqua said.
"Mostly it was just memories of you. But there was this one time where I knew
you were actually there. Terra, I saw you and heard you speak to me. Do you
remember that?"
"Yeah. Both of you spoke in my heart, but I thought it was a trick. Just."
Terra turned his head away from Ventus. "Just my own longings."
"When I saw you, you were fighting Xehanort in your heart," Aqua continued. "I
know you were always fighting. The heartless, the nobodies -- that wasn't you."
Terra was quiet, but took both of their hands. The hubbub from the city below
came to them as gentle music. The comfort of a world alive and filled with
people.
"I wasn't in the darkness the same way either of you were," Ventus said
eventually. "But I think I get it. I also have doubts about who I am, and what
is in my heart. It's confusing."
"Yeah," Terra replied. "And on top of everything else, in the time we were gone
the worlds have changed so much."
Aqua made a sound of agreement. "The world we were born into, the world we
thought we would inherit as keyblade masters, that world is gone." She extended
her hand to the sky, catching stars in her hands. "We have to make our own way
as keyblade masters. Before the keyblade war, the role of wielders was
different even from what we grew up with. It's different again." She lowered
her fist to her chest, closing her eyes softly. "Let your heart be your guiding
key."
"Hmm? That sounds familiar," Terra muttered.
"It's an old saying," Aqua explained.
"Our hearts," Ventus breathed. "We're fighting for them."
 
-------
 
Being with Aqua and Terra was so natural he almost forgot about his other
lives. They had all been through so much in their time apart, and it was hard
to talk about. But together, they made it easier. Talking with them about all
that he had been through felt like healing. It felt like home.
His heart still hurt, and the memories came in relentless waves, but Terra and
Aqua made it easier. They took care of him, and more than once the tenderness
they treated him with brought tears to his eyes. How could they accept him when
he was so broken? Yet, Ven knew that both of them thought the same thing. They
were all broken together. They would hold each other's pieces in place.
One night, Terra asked to talk to Ven alone. They took a walk around the castle
garden. During the daytime, many people visited the gardens to walk among the
roses and sit by the fountain. At night it was just the two of them. Ven looked
at Terra; his overgrown brown hair, the stone-chiseled set of his face, eyes
that never wavered. Ventus had always been looking up to Terra, figuratively
and literally. He was a few years younger, and, always the runt, Ven was more
than a head shorter than Terra. Ever since he had started his apprenticeship at
the Land of Departure, Terra had been there supporting him. Terra taught him,
gave him encouragement, and was a fearless beacon Ven could rely on in times of
doubt.
"So, what do you want to talk to me about?" Ven asked, strolling casually
(maybe intentionally casual) with his hands in his pockets.
"Everything," Terra said with a smile. "But right now, specifically, I feel
like... like there's something I need to say to you." Terra stopped and turned
to Ven, taking one of his hands. "Ven -- I'm so sorry for everything that
happened."
Ven blinked. "What?"
"I didn't listen to you. I left you without explanation. I wanted to protect
you, but instead I treated you like a child, telling you to stay put even
though you were the one trying to find me and stop the disastrous path I was
on." He squeezed Ven's hand, and his blue eyes were dark and intense. "I was so
arrogant, and yet so blind."
"Terra, no, Master Xehanort--"
"Don't." Terra shut his eyes and his grip tightened. "You don't need to say
that." He looked down at Ven through dark lashes, a sad smile on his face.
"Just let me apologize."
Ven bit back his words. He didn't want to see Terra upset or harder on himself
than he already was. Before they were separated, Ven wanted so badly to find
Terra he could still feel the desperation now.
"If I had listened to you and Aqua, everything would be different. I will never
make that mistake again." He lifted Ven's hand to his cheek, nearly kissing it
as he spoke. Ven flushed. "I will never take you for granted again. I thought
we had time, hoped that everything would stay as it was."
"Terra..." Ven's voice was weak. The intimacy of the tender touch was
overwhelming. All the longing, all the unspoken closeness they felt for each
other. Terra kissed his knuckles and began to lower their hands.
Ven hugged him tightly, and Terra made a little noise of surprise. Ven felt his
strong arms wrap around him. He was so solid. For all the comfort of casual
touches - Ven leaning on his shoulder at dinner, Terra lifting him up on his
shoulders, holding hands as they walked through town - this felt different. Ven
pushed himself against Terra to get as much contact as possible. Terra stroked
the back of his neck, and Ven couldn't help but hum contentedly. Terra only
viewed him as a younger brother, Ven knew, someone to look after and protect.
But the way he was holding him -- Ven's heart was thumping in his chest, made
nervous by the uncertainty of what was happening.
"I don't want to lose you again," Terra said, and Ven could feel his warm
breath on his neck.
"I don't want to lose you either," Ven replied. Nothing was happening right
now. This was just a hug! A friendship hug. A very straight platonic friendship
hug. His face was burning. Ok, calm down Ven. He loosened his grip. Terra held
him tight for a moment, and then let him go. Ven looked up at him and saw a
soft pink to his cheeks and a gentle smile.
"Um." Ven was sure his face was still red. "Was there anything else you wanted
to tell me?"
Terra looked at him without speaking for a minute, thinking, and Ven had to
glance away. There is something else, isn't there? This is so dumb! Why did he
feel so nervous? He glanced up, knowing Terra would still be looking at him.
"Only that I love you."
Oh. That. Right. Ven felt all the tension leave his body and it was like he was
floating. The way Terra was looking at him kindly, and the absolute certainty
of the words put Ven immediately at ease. "I love you too," he said, because it
was true. Obvious, in fact. He had always loved Terra.
 
-------
 
They walked back to the house holding hands. Ven couldn't stop smiling and
blushing. It wasn't like they had said anything new -- well, they had never
said the exact words but all three of them loved each other and Ven never
doubted that. In fact it surprised him that he had never said he loved Terra
before. It was just understood. It wasn't like Terra loved him in a romantic
way. The three of them were best friends, and cared about each other more than
anything else in the world. Had gone to the ends of the worlds for each other.
The crush he had harbored for Terra for years paled in comparison to the love
for his friends. It didn't matter. He was reunited with his friends. They were
finally together again.
When he and Terra parted ways for the night, Terra squeezed his hand and Ven
practically glowed. He flopped on his bed with a sigh, resting for a moment
before getting ready for bed. Tomorrow he would wake up and go for a run with
Kairi and Aqua. They were expecting Mickey to return soon with news from the
outside worlds, and Ven was eager to hear the report. It was good to have a
home base and train with the others, but he didn't like waiting around.
In a matter of minutes, the security he felt when he was with Terra faded. He
frowned. Everything was good with his two friends. Why the sinking feeling? He
searched for a reason. They all went through so much, and he was processing not
just his experiences but the experiences of his best friends. That's why he
felt like crying. That's ok. He was tired. Nothing was really wrong.
If he was just Ven, that would be true. But he wasn't.
"God, I'm a fucking idiot," he cried through clenched teeth, fists on his
forehead. For all the security that he was at home with Terra and Aqua, he knew
that he was not just Ventus. Terra might fear that somehow he was the Heartless
and Nobody born of Xehanort possessing him, but those weren't really his lives.
His own lives as Roxas were him, not the darkness sowing seeds of doubt. They
weren't all false memories -- the important ones weren't.
"I've hardly talked to Axel all week," he realized. "Lea. Nn. UGH!" He had been
ignoring Axel, hadn't he? Looking away when Axel teased him, talking to him
only in conversations when Aqua and Terra were present. His face burned with
shame. "What the hell is wrong with me?"
He sat on the edge of his bed, feeling frustrated. He would apologize to Axel.
He could explain himself. They would work it out. Maybe Axel didn't even
notice; he had been so absorbed in training. Without waiting a minute longer,
he left his room and walked through the wing to Axel's. The anxiety wouldn't go
away until he fixed this. He knocked on the door and heard shuffling sounds
from the other side. Ven took a deep breath.
Axel opened the door with a slouch and a smirk. He was wearing sweatpants and
an a-shirt that stretched tightly over his broad shoulders. "Oh, hey!" Axel
said, his smirk turning into an expression of genuine joy. "What's up my dude?"
"H-hi," Ven said. "Nothing much. We just haven't really talked in a few days so
I thought. Could I come in?"
"Of course," Axel purred, leaning in the doorway in a way that made Ven's
entrance difficult. "Mi casa es tu casa."
"Axel," he said, rolling his eyes. "C'mon."
Axel moved aside with a small pout.  "Alright. I'd apologize for the mess but
you shouldn't really expect more from me." Ven stepped in, and Axel shut the
door behind him. There were some clothes kicked to the corner, and the bedding
was falling off the mattress. But besides that, it wasn't bad. Axel just didn't
have that much stuff. None of them did. "I've seen worse," Ven replied. He
opted to sit on the bed.
"Fair." Axel looked at him for a moment, scratching his head, then joined him
on the bed. "Soooo."
"Yeah. Uh." Ven took a moment to find his words and Axel let him. "I'm sorry
for not really talking to you this week. I feel like I ignored you. I got
caught up in spending time with Aqua and Terra, like, we're talking about
everything that happened and it's important. But it wasn't cool how I treated
you."
"Hmm?" Axel raised an eyebrow. "So you were catching up with old friends,
what's the big deal? Not that we got our time to catch up since you're so busy
with them. What do you take me for: jealous?" His voice was mocking. He was
obviously blowing it off and kidding, and it didn't sit right with Ven.
Don't. You don't need to say that.
Ven stared Axel dead on. "Can you just let me apologize?"
That shut Axel up. "Uh. Yeah, sorry."
"The way I ignored you wasn't cool," Ven said again, blushing under Axel's
gaze. "I don't want to do that again. I want to hang out with you, and feel
like we can talk about whatever. I'm sorry Axel."
"Oh," Axel said so quietly that Ven could barely hear it. He leaned forward
elbows on knees, and rest his forehead in his hand. "Ah. I appreciate that,
kid." He grinned at Ven. "Of course I want to hang out, and it really isn't a
big deal. Trust me, if I really were bothered I'd let you know."
"Yeah." Ven smiled back. "Make sure to give me a firm shake."
"I'll give you more than that!" Axel teased and they both laughed. "Hey. Why
don't we go into town soon, just the two of us? You know, actually hang out.
Find some good ice cream."
"Yeah, I'd like that." Ven felt relieved. And having Axel smile at him wasn't
bad either. Talking wasn't the only thing they hadn't done all week. Axel
seemed to be thinking the same thing, because he began looking at Ven
dangerously. The flame-head leaned back on his hands, head tilted back, all
long angles from his collarbones to his bare ankles. Ven liked to think he had
a high threshold for Axel's flirtation because of overexposure, but also, fuck?
Axel was gorgeous.
"Is it also possible that you missed me?" Axel teased.
"It's not like we haven't seen each other."
"So you didn't?"
"Pfft. As if."
"Too busy hanging with Terra?"
"I thought you weren't jealous?"
"And what if I am?" Axel's voice was starting to make his heart race. The man
looked him up and down. It was embarrassing him, but to let Axel see that was
to admit defeat.
"Well, there's nothing to be jealous of," Ven replied.
"Hmm. Sure, kid."
"I mean it." Ven tried to speak with conviction. He did just tell Terra he
loved him but that was as friends, that wasn't like... whatever he and Axel
were.
"If you say so," Axel drawled, sounding unconvinced. "Maybe you haven't noticed
the way he looks at you."
"What?" Terra didn't look at him any way!
"Mmm." Axel squinted at him in consideration. "Still dense."
"You're making fun of me!" Ven pressed his lips together, immediately
regretting the outburst. Shit. Whenever Axel got an outburst out of him he --
"Only when you deserve it."
-- used that voice. Axel turned towards him, one hand on the bed by his thigh,
looking like a predator about to pounce. Fuck.
"It's not like that," He said again more firmly. "It's complicated. I'm still
figuring it out and--"
"I can make you forget about it," Axel said in a honey-venom voice and Ven lost
it. The words moved straight down his body, pricking the hairs on the back of
his neck. Axel's face was close, and he could see his tongue draw across his
teeth. Ven shuddered. "Can I tell you what I missed?" Axel asked.
"I-I didn't come here just for--"
"Wouldn't care if you did." Axel touched his cheek. "I missed this." He kissed
Ven's cheek softly. "And here." His forehead. "And here." Axel's hand was
around his throat lightly, and he tilted Ven's chin up with his thumb. "Can I?"
he asked with hungry eyes, breath falling on his chin.
"Yes."
Axel placed gentle kisses on Ven's neck and jaw. He didn't need to bite or
tongue to make Ven feel warm. His hands found their way into Axel's flame red
hair, and goaded him with little tugs. He didn't come here for this. It's not
like he hadn't thought about it this week, but it had been overshadowed by
everything else. Was this ok? Axel nudged his collar aside and began kissing
the place his neck met shoulder. Why wouldn't it be ok? Axel's breath was hot,
and there was a moan in the back of his throat -- wait, was he getting turned
on just from kissing his neck? Oh Lord.
Ven clenched his hands around Axel's hair and drew his face up, making the
other man groan. "Is that all you missed?" Ven asked.
"No." Axel kissed him.
There was nothing wrong with this. It wasn't like Terra wanted to be his
boyfriend; it wasn't like Axel cared if he loved Terra as a friend. They were
completely separate issues. Terra wouldn't kiss him like this. Stop thinking of
Terra!
Ven kissed Axel more aggressively, wanting nothing more than to be distracted
from his thoughts. Their mouths were a hot dance, wet, heavy. Axel unzipped
Ven's shirt and worked his fingers under the hem of his undershirt. "I missed
kissing you," Axel growled before catching his mouth again. Ven's heart was
racing, anxiety mixing with arousal and making him uncomfortably needy. He
moaned, half from the ache in his chest and half from the way Axel rubbed his
nipple.
"Fuck, you're hot," Axel said with heavy breath. He pushed up Ven's shirt and
in the process Ven fell back on the bed. Axel's mouth was on him, rubbing a
nipple with his lips and circling with his tongue. His dick twitched where it
was pressed against Axel's stomach, pants now a grave inconvenience. He was
starting to burn up.
"Make me forget," Ven encouraged, beginning to pant. "Everything but you."
Axel moaned loudly and dragged his nails down Ven's side. He cried out. Axel
scraped his teeth across Ven's ribs, not finding a good place to bite but
letting his want known, licking and sucking all over without giving Ven a
chance to breathe. Ven grabbed the sheets above his head, gasping and arching
his back. Axel was now kneeling on the floor and half on top of him, a hand at
the crook of his thigh. Fuck. He was half hard and rocked his hips towards
Axel. He shut his eyes tight, feeling Axel's mouth on his chest and the
agonizingly gentle strokes over his pants. Felt his mouth lower, sucking and
nipping his hip bone. The release of his button and fly. Fuck.
He lifted his hips and Axel removed his pants and briefs. He kissed his thighs,
hips, navel, warming him up with his hands but not directly touching his cock
yet. The teasing had him fully hard in a minute. He whined, flicking his hips
up. It burned. "God, you're gorgeous," Axel breathed, and the praise made him
shiver. "You smell so good." Ven whimpered, half hiding his head under his
arm. 
How could he be doing this with Axel when he wanted so badly for Terra to kiss
him goodnight? No. Shut up. Shut out the thoughts. Axel held his hip down and
began stroking him with the other hand. God, don't think. "P-please," he
shuddered, not sure what he was asking for. His pleads came out as half-worded
panting. He nearly cried out when Axel began planting kisses on his cock,
getting him all wet with his tongue. He tried to focus on the feeling. Axel's
nails in his hip. The way his tongue pressed against the head of his cock. And
then the absolute soul-shattering warmth as he finally took him into his mouth.
His mouth was perfect -- hot and wet and attentive. He was impatient, and set a
brutal pace, taking Ven deep each time. The sound of Axel's muffled moans and
the wet suck of his mouth was almost as overwhelming as the feeling. Ven rocked
his hips in rhythm, mewling, grasping at the sheets. "Axel - Axel!" The man was
merciless, and Ven wasn't thinking anymore.
 
-------
 
He was dreaming. In an ocean of darkness, he found footing on a huge dais of
stained glass. The place was familiar, like a far off memory. 
"So full of light." The voice was half in his head. He wasn't alone. He turned
on the dais, looking for the source of the voice. "The light and love in your
heart will only cause pain." He saw something out of the corner of his eye and
turned. A figure stood on the edge of darkness. He looked like Sora, but as he
turned -- no, Sora's hair wasn't black like that. And those glowing gold eyes.
It was Vanitas. 
He tried to speak. Darkness spread underneath his feet, obscuring the light of
the stained glass. He was choking on words he couldn't say, and Vanitas was
staring at him, not with malice, but with hurt. 
"Do you know how much pain you've caused?" Vanitas said. "Do you have any
idea?"
 
-------
 
"Alright gang!" Donald squawked at the assembly at the steps of the castle.
"Listen to the King!"
It was mid-day and the sun fell bountifully upon the stone of Radiant Garden's
castle. The keyblade wielders were all ready to set out if need be, dressed in
their adventuring gear. Lea kept stealing glances at Roxas and was rewarded
with a shy smile. Of course, he was standing closest to Aqua and Terra.
Mickey nodded, and addressed the group. "We discovered signs that could be
related to the Thirteen Seekers. First of all, there have been sightings of
Maleficent in the Enchanted Kingdom."
"Maleficent?" Riku's voice was sharp. "She's still around?"
"I'm afraid so." Mickey shook his head, looking forlorn. "She is an extremely
powerful fairy, and we merely chased her off last time."
"What is she doing back at her home world?" Terra asked, his concern apparent.
"Is Princess Aurora alright?"
"It's Queen Aurora now!" Goofy said with a h-yup!
"They seem to be fine," Mickey explained. "Maleficent wasn't seen close to the
castle, but rather in the fairy woods. We don't know what she's up to."
"Maleficent wasn't working with Xemnas," Sora said, some confusion in his
voice. "She -- well, I wouldn't say helped -- but. She wasn't working with them
then. Maybe she's has nothing to do with Xehanort."
"That may be so," Riku countered, "But she's ambitious. She may be seeking
information on Xehanort and the X-blade so she can manipulate the situation to
her advantage."
"Exactly what I was thinking," Mikey said with a nod.
"We should go see what we can find out," Aqua said.
"I'll go," Terra said with determination. "I need to apologize to the Queen."
"Then the three of us will go," Aqua said, obviously meaning her, Terra and
Ven.
"I'll go too!" Kairi exclaimed, surprising everyone. She giggled, a bit
embarrassed and hastened to explain. "I, uh, haven't seen Aurora in years, and
want to congratulate her on her Queendom."
"Alright then. We found something else," Mikey explained. "Aladdin told me that
there's funny business in Agrabah. He spotted someone in the Dark Robe with a
band of thieves."
Lea snapped to attention. "Did he see what the figure looked like?"
"Hmm. All he said was that this person fought with a huge sword."
"Isa," Lea breathed. "That must be him."
"Are you sure?" Roxas asked, alarmed.
Lea looked at him, jaw clenched. Roxas didn't know everything about his
relationship with Isa: their previous friendship, and what Saix did to him in
the end. "I tried to find Isa and Braig when I woke up. But those bastards are
slippery. And I didn't get a proper hello during my daring rescue of the 13th
vessel... I'll go to Agrabah."
"Riku and I will go with you!" Sora said with a smile.
"And me!" Donald squealed. "I heard that there's an island filled with
treasure!"
Sora frowned at him. "You're thinking of treasure at a time like this?"
"What's the problem?!" Donald and Sora glared at each other.
"Uh-yup." Goofy tried to step between them. "Maybe we should stay with the
king?"
"Whose going to fly the gummy ship? Sora is a miserable driver."
"Am not!"
Lea and Riku exchanged glances. Donald's magic was unparalleled but if it meant
putting up with his attitude (and the attitude he brought out in Sora) it was
not worth it.
 
The two teams prepared to leave in the other available gummy ships. Lea was
distracted thinking about Isa when Roxas came up to him.
"Hey," Roxas said with a small blush. "Good luck on your mission. And be safe.
Saix is dangerous, and if he's possessed by Xehanort..."
Lea could see the worry etched in his face. Of course Lea knew how dangerous
Isa was -- he still remembered vividly the feel of his claymore piercing him
through. But he didn't want Roxas worrying when he himself was on a dangerous
mission.
"Do I get a good luck kiss?" Lea teased, leaning close to Roxas.
"Not a chance!" The boy snapped with a playful smile. Good. That looked better
on him than worry. Roxas's smirk faded into a softer expression. "You don't
need a good luck kiss."
Lea's heart fluttered. "Then kiss me when we get back," he said, all mockery
gone from his voice.
"Ok. It's a promise."
Thy locked pinkies, grinning like idiots.
Chapter End Notes
     next up: Agrabah and the Enchanted Kingdom. a romantic waltz, an
     unexpected family reunion, feelings explained, and... is that a
     colossal gold turtle?
     thanks for reading!
***** Sinking in Gold *****
Chapter Summary
     "/Memories are a bitch/ Lea thought for the umpteenth time since he
     got all of his back. He saw it all happen and still couldn't
     understand how Isa got so turned around. Like. He always knew his
     friend was a bit fucked up, but hey, he was too. Roxas, Sora, Kairi -
     Terra, Aqua, Ven - their friendships were rock solid. Even though
     they had been through so much shit and messed up by the darkness,
     their friendship was still strong. Was his friendship with Isa weak?
     Could it be saved? And if it couldn't, what did that say about Lea?"
     Lea, Sora, and Riku go to Agrabah to chase down someone in a dark
     robe. Lea remembers his childhood with Isa, and remembers Axel and
     Saix. The others learn how to waltz.
Chapter Notes
     this chapter took longer than expected. I wrestled with it for a bit.
     hopefully the next will be up within a week. for the Agrabah plot, I
     borrowed from the third Aladdin movie, Aladdin and the King of
     Thieves. it's a great (terrible) movie and you should definitely
     watch it.
     CONTENT WARNING: The Lea/Isa Axel/Saix sections of this chapter
     contain encounters of dubious consent and mild violence. just really
     sad aggressive weird make-outs. if you want to skip, those sections
     are in italics. all you need to know is that Lea / Isa had a messed
     up relationship that was mutually bad.
 
"I can't stand this heat." They had lasted half a day in agrabah before Riku
started complaining. Sora was tan as a chestnut, and though Lea's skin was
fair, he was in heaven. The dry heat felt so good, preferable to the humidity
of a world like Deep Jungle. Maybe it was the fire magic -- ok it was
definitely the fire magic-- but Lea never burned. He has long shed his
undershirt and just wore his vest with harem pants similar to Aladdin's. Poor
Riku was suffering in his jeans, and his shoulders were pink despite his best
efforts to maintain a shade spell.
"This is nothing," Aladdin said. "You should come here in summer."
"This... isn't summer?" Riku gasped.
"For an island boy, you're not very good in the heat," Lea remarked, tossing
him a water flask.
Riku caught it and took a long swig. "I was never really meant for Destiny
Islands."
Sora rolled his eyes. "Sure you're not just a whiner?"
Riku raised both his eyebrows, too overheated to get him with a comeback.
"Riku was the only one who never tanned," Sora explained with a smile. "Though
his parents do, so I don't know. Never burned like this though." Sora poked
Riku's shoulders and Riku yelped.
“Sora, shove off!”
“Hee hee.”
"Well I have some good news for you, Riku," Aladdin said, pointing west across
the rooftops. "The sun will be setting soon. We'll wait until night to set
out."
"Will it be cooler at night?" Riku pleaded.
Aladdin grinned. "Oh yeah. It'll be cold."
"I can barely remember what cold feels like."
"Let's rest up until then," Sora said.
It had been a long day in the fabulous heat. They had determined that the
world's keyhole was safe, and there weren't any heartless or nobodies in the
city. The palace had been attacked a few days ago by a band of thieves and
heartless. No one had been badly hurt in the raid, but some of the palace's
treasure had been stolen. Some very likely magical treasure.
Xehanort didn't care about gold (though, fuck, seeing the Palace's treasure
room made Lea's jaw drop. What could you even do with that much munny? Buy an
island? Buy a world and make yourself king?) Isa would only be interested in
the power of gold and not the gold itself, and wealth was powerful, but the
Organization was searching for a whole other level of power. What did he need
gold for?
 
"You're not getting a summer job, Isa?"
"What's the point. The only jobs are menial labor and it's not like they'll
help me get into University."
"The point? Uh, munny? For comics, ice cream, getting the fuck out of town on
my sweet motorbike I'll never actually be able to afford but, hey, a man can
dream?"
"Where would you even go? There's nothing out there but sheep farms."
"The point is to get out, Isa. This place get's so boring. Don't you want to go
on an adventure?"
"I agree with you. But you're not going to find adventure out there with the
sheep. And every summer job sounds so boring I'll probably off myself. The
interesting stuff is here, Lea. You just can't see it."
"What are you talking about?"
 
Memories are a bitch Lea thought for the umpteenth time since he got all of his
back. He saw it all happen and still couldn't understand how Isa got so turned
around. Like. He always knew his friend was a bit fucked up, but hey, he was
too. Roxas, Sora, Kairi - Terra, Aqua, Ven - their friendships were rock solid.
Even though they had been through so much shit and messed up by the darkness,
their friendship was still strong. Was his friendship with Isa weak? Could it
be saved? And if it couldn't, what did that say about Lea?
“Hey, Lea.” Riku’s voice brought him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to
see that Sora and Aladdin were walking ahead, back to the palace. Riku was
waiting up for him, and maybe it was the sweat but his brow was furrowed in an
expression that might have been concern. “Are you alright?”
“Alright?” Lea asked. “Why wouldn’t I be alright? We’re off on a thrilling
adventure. And unlike yourself, I adore this heat.”
Riku crossed his arms. “You know, I’m not as oblivious as Sora. You’ve been
staring at the middle distance all day.”
Against all odds, Lea held back his automatic sarcastic retort. He scratched
his head. “Huh.” Was Riku actually concerned for him? He really must look out
of it. Lea shrugged. “I’m alright. I guess I’ve been thinking of Isa.” Lea
started walking and Riku fell in step beside him. “We used to be, uh, what’s
the word? Friends. You know. Before the whole Nobody business.” He gestured
vaguely, 
“Really?”
Lea snorted at Riku's surprise. “I know, right? Man’s got a total stick up his
ass. But, it was a long time ago. Radiant Garden natives, the both of us.” His
voice was light and had the usual edge of mockery, but his throat felt tight.
“Isa was always coming up with plans, and I was always fucking them up for the
both of us. And now he's a Xehanort puppet. I guess I feel a bit messed up
about him.”
Riku nodded. “If you want to ever talk about it, just let me know.”
Lea made a face. “Me? Talk about feelings? Barf.”
Riku chuckled. “I know you’ve got them. You’re not a nobody anymore.”
“Yeah but I’m out of practice dealing with them.”
“Well, the offer stands.” Riku gave him a soft smile, squinting through the
blaze of sunlight. “Now, can we please walk in the shade?”
 
———
 
“I can almost reach it! C’mon, stand up.”
“I’m standing as tall as I can.”
“Well, be taller.”
“YOU be taller, short ass.”
They had found an open window along the side of the castle. Isa was standing on
Lea’s shoulders, grasping for purchase on the stone, his sneakers scraping
Lea’s skin carelessly. They had climbed the gargoyles and friezes to get to
this point, balanced precariously and very illegally on the side of the castle.
Lea glanced down and tried not to think of all the ways he could die if Isa
kept squirming like that: impaled on the fence below, or smashing his skull on
the stones. Not the way he wanted to go.
Lea adjusted his grip on Isa’s skinny ankles. “Ok. I’m going to push up and you
better fucking grab that windowsill. Three, two, one.” Lea got on his tip toes
and stretched as tall as his lanky frame would allow. He felt Isa flail and for
a moment was sure they would both go tumbling backwards, but then the weight on
his shoulders lifted somewhat. “Got it!” Isa exclaimed in a stage whisper,
crawling into the window and out of sight.
“Isa!” Lea said in a hushed tone after his friend had been gone for a moment.
“Don’t you dare leave me out here!” Climbing up was one thing, but climbing
down…
Isa appeared in the window a minute later with a bundle of rope, looking cool
as a cucumber. “Climb up.”
Once both boys were inside, they surveyed the surroundings. They were in a wing
of the castle that looked like it had been abandoned long ago. Dust floated in
the air, and the furniture, while ornate, was water-damaged and unpolished.
There were no signs of inhabitants, which was good, because they most certainly
weren’t allowed to be here.
“This is a crime,” Lea said quietly. “You could fit four of my bedroom in here
and no one’s even using it?”
Isa didn’t reply, but moved towards the door on the other side of the room,
which was ajar. He peeked into the hallway beyond. “Coast’s clear. Now, we have
to be sneaky, so keep your trap shut.”
“I can be sneaky,” Lea said. “I’ll show you just how sneaky I can be. You won’t
even know I’m here.”
Isa rolled his eyes. “Fat chance.” His mouth quirked with a brief smile. Isa
was always cool and controlled, and as far as Lea could tell, he was the only
person who could get a rise out of the kid. Isa was wound up so tight, and Lea
couldn’t help but poke and prod to find the places where he might unwind. Each
laugh, even if it was at his expense, was a small victory.
The rest of the wing was similarly abandoned. They didn’t go through every room
looking for something interesting; once they found a better way to sneak in,
they could come back. But first they had to find said door and leave it propped
open. The castle was cold, and eerily quiet. They traveled via the servant’s
narrow passageways and steep stairs, pausing every once in a while to listen
for signs of other people. Once they were out of the old wing, things looked a
bit less dusty, but still not as pristine as Radiant Garden’s Castle aught to
be. They arrived at a large hall with a grand staircase that lead higher up
into the castle. For fifteen minutes, they crouched behind a column and watched
every entrance in case someone walked through. No one did. “What the hell is
the King doing here?” Lea wondered under his breath. “Is he even home?”
Of course, that was what they were here to find out.
They found themselves at last in a room with more life to it: a large library
illuminated by huge arched windows. Row after row of gilded bookshelves made a
maze before them. They began to explore, Lea randomly picking books off the
shelf, and Isa searching methodically. This was more his type of place. Isa was
the stressed out straight-A student who tried to pretend he wasn’t stressed out
all the time. Lea was slightly less studious. He ran his fingers along the row
of book-spines, enjoying the feel. These books weren’t dust-coated. And the
room was heated. People had been here, recently.
“I found something,” Isa said from across the room. Lea lifted his hand from
the books, and went to his friend. He found him in a narrow aisle, and glanced
around for whatever had peaked Isa’s interest. Lea didn’t see anything.
“Sooooo…”
Isa gestured to a shelf that was mostly empty of books.
Lea blinked. “Uh. Yes?”
Isa rolled his eyes. “Do I have to spell everything out for you?”
Lea frowned. His friend could sure be a dick sometimes. “So a bunch of books
are missing.”
“King Ansem is a scholar,” Isa explained. “And these shelves are organized by
subject, then author. So a bunch of books are missing on the same subject, and
it could be a subject the King is researching.”
Lea scratched the back of his head. “Ok. But the books are gone, so how are we
supposed to know what they’re about?”
Now Isa was really looking at him like an idiot. “The surrounding books.”
“Ah.” Lea blushed a bit in embarrassment. “Right. You’re such a genius.”
Isa ignored him again and picked a book out of the shelf, flipping through the
first few pages. Lea watched him concentrate, watched the cool, apathetic
expression he always wore transform into one of attentive curiosity. “What’s
the book about?” Lea asked, growing impatient.
Isa read for a moment longer, then looked up, a question in his eyes. “It’s
about the darkness.”
“The... darkness?” The word felt strange on his tongue, like a joke someone was
trying to make serious. “Like… like shadows, and shit? What does that mean?”
Isa shrugged. “I don’t know. Not exactly something they teach us in school.”
Lea thought back. There was a memory somewhere, of a fairy tale, or a dream.
“Yeah. I mean, I guess I know that darkness is the opposite of light. Light
good, dark bad. But that’s just kids’ stories.”
"I wonder," Isa began to say, but shut up quick as a sound came to their
attention. The soft click of a door opening.
"Shit!" Lea mouthed.
Somewhere on the balcony above them was the sound of footsteps and quiet
talking as someone entered the library. Isa put the book down carefully and
grabbed Lea's hand, leading him down the aisle. Lea's heart was racing. The
balcony was only on this side of the room, but if the people walked down the
stairs they would definitely be seen. Very quietly, Isa lead him along the back
of the room. The conversation above them was quiet, but in the silence of the
library he could hear every word.
“He still doesn’t remember anything. I wonder if he ever will.” A man’s voice,
gentle and deep.
“Don’t give up.” A kid. “There must be a way.”
The footsteps were moving towards the stairs. Lea forgot what breathing was. It
was thrilling, really, the risk of getting caught. The knowledge that they were
trespassing and these two had no idea. Hopefully would continue to have no
idea.
“His heart holds the key. I’m sure there is a connection between hearts and
memories, and if that is the case then the memories are not gone.”
“They’re just locked away.”
“Precisely.”
Isa found a door along the back wall and tested the handle with the utmost
care. Lea was sure that his heartbeat was loud enough to get them caught, let
alone the inevitable turn of the knob. The door opened with the softest sound,
but for an instant Lea was sure the man and child would hear it even though
they were on the other end of the balcony, near the stairs, beginning to
descend —
Isa and Lea slipped through the door and closed it. Did they make it in time?
It was dark. Lea remembered that breathing was a thing he was supposed to do,
and started to take small breaths, afraid to fill his lungs lest the noise lead
to their discovery. His eyes adjusted slowly in the dark, and he realized that
they were in a small closet. Isa stood inches before him, shivering slightly
from the adrenaline. He had a hand on Lea’s hip, a reminder to stay fucking
quiet or else. They stared at each other, breathing carefully, listening to the
now muffled conversation in the library. Lea grinned from the thrill of it, and
a similarly manic smile spread across Isa’s face.
The thrill didn’t fade. Lea could feel each pulse of his heart throughout his
body. Isa stepped closer to him, a wild glint in his eye. They were practically
chest to chest, and Lea didn’t dare lean against the door in case it creaked.
Isa put a finger to Lea’s lips. Lea glared. Of course he was fucking staying
silent. How dare Isa pin him and put a finger to his lips like he was an idiot
child. Isa’s hand gripped his hip, and Lea had to bite his tongue to hold back
a sound of shock. Isa’s eyes were gleaming. Motherfucker.
The conversation in the library grew closer. Isa moved his hand under Lea’s
shirt so he could dig his fingers into his skin and — ow — his nails bit into
the thin flesh over his hip. Lea’s entire body tensed up. Isa’s face was close
to his, breath falling on his lips. Fuck. Lea didn’t often see that look on
Isa’s face, but whenever he did it was bad news. Everyone thought Lea was the
crazy one. If only they knew. A hand ran down his neck, a careful caress
turning into a grip that threatened to choke. Breathing was fucking really
difficult already and Lea fought to keep his breathing steady, to not gasp or
yank away. Isa gripped his neck a little tighter, and then released. He was
playing with him.
The hand at his hip roamed upward, scratching his side. Isa nuzzled at Lea’s
neck, placing gentle kisses there like a cruel joke. Lea was rigid, standing so
tensely he was probably going to pop his head off. Isa’s mouth was wet and warm
against his neck, his shoulders shaking in silent laughter. “Don’t move.” Isa’s
voice was wet against his ear. “If you make a sound, you lose.” His nails raked
down Lea’s stomach, and he choked back a gasp. He couldn’t hear anything
besides the thrum of his heartbeat and hot blood rushing in his ears. Extremely
carefully, he leaned his back against the door as Isa continued to kiss and
bite his neck. Every place his friend touched flushed hot, like he was too
aware of his body. Fuck fuckity fuck.
It wasn’t pleasure or pain. It was tension and heat, unbearable adrenaline. He
was sweating just from the effort of staying still and silent. Isa had him in
the palm of his hands, but only because Lea let him, only because Lea agreed to
the rules of this game. He could push Isa away, grab his hand. Isa didn't want
to get caught, and wouldn't do anything to actually get them caught, but would
get as close to that point as possible. It was a game. Wrestling each other,
sticking their tongue in the other's ear when they weren't expecting, purple
nurples. Except, as they were getting older, something changed in their games.
Something they didn't talk about.
Isa's mouth was on his shoulder and he bit down, not viciously, but slowly
harder and harder. Lea clenched his jaw around a whimper. Isa's hand travelled
lower, over the front of his shorts in clumsy strokes. He lifted his head to
watch Lea squirm and gasp, pleased by his reactions. Lea trembled, tried to
catch his breath, tried to look into Isa's eyes because if he didn't he would
lose, he would be weak. Isa undid the front of his shorts and got a firm grip
on him. Lea couldn't breathe. Any second now he would cry out for air and they
would get caught with his pants nearly down.
Lea tapped his friend sharply on his shoulder. "Enough," he gasped.
Isa kept stroking him, eyes wide.
Lea grabbed him by he scruff of his neck, pulling his shaggy blue hair. "Stop,"
he hissed. Isa looked at him sharply, angry for a moment. He dropped his hands
and took a step back from Lea, the madness in his eyes fading. Finally, Lea
could breathe and calm down. There were no noises coming from the library
anymore. Isa stared at him. Lea had ended the game. He had lost. A part of him
wanted to push Isa against the wall and kiss him or punch him in the face,
anything to get the power back, to beat him, to be the one in control. But he
could see that Isa had retreated into his cold fortress. Disappointed, maybe,
that Lea had ruined his fun. 
 
-------
 
Ventus couldn't remember the last time he had gone adventuring with Aqua and
Terra, and it was fantastic. They weren't desperately searching for each other
in a frustrating series of missed connections and wild goose chases, but
working together. And unlike when he was younger, Aqua and Terra didn't treat
him like a kid who needed guidance, but as a peer. It felt good to be needed.
It was also nice to have Kairi around, even though it broke up their usual
trio. Ven's heart warmed as he watched Aqua and Kairi get to know each other,
smiling and sharing easy conversation.
That also meant that Terra and Ven had chances to talk just the two of them.
There was something growing between them, gentle and inevitable as buds
wakening in the tangled briar. At least once a day Ven was floored by the
miracle of his reunion with Aqua and Terra. They had been separated by more
than a decade, by darkness and lost bodies and sleeping hearts. They were the
impossible remains of a world and keyblade legacy that Xehanort nearly
succeeded in vanquishing. They were alive.
"Can I ask you something?" Ven inquired as they explored the fae woods. Terra
gave him a nod and a soft smile. He had been smiling more often, Ven thought.
"Um, what do you have to apologize to Queen Aurora for?"
Terra sighed. "When I first came to this world, I was tricked by Maleficent.
She took control of my body and I tried to steal Aurora's heart." His voice was
laced with regret. "I almost succeeded."
"That's... terrible," Ven said, casting a concerned look at his friend. "I
understand why you want to apologize, but also... do you blame yourself?"
Terra grimaced. "It wouldn't have happened if my heart was strong. Maleficent,
Xehanort -- I allowed the darkness into my heart. It won't happen again, but
that's my burden to bear."
Ven frowned. How could he still be blaming himself for being possessed? For
what happened when his body was no longer under his control? "Don't say it like
that," Ven pleaded, "Like it was inevitable. That could have happened to any of
us!"
"No," Terra replied sharply, meeting Ven's gaze.  He didn't look angry, but his
voice was firm. "It happened to me. Maleficent would have never been able to
control you; you wouldn't fall for it."
Ven wanted to say no right out. How could Terra know that? Ventus wasn't
stronger than him, that was ridiculous. "What do you mean?" he asked instead.
Terra sighed, and stopped on the forest path. There was a sad smile on his
face. "Ven, you're the best of us. Your heart is full of light. The darkness
has no hold on you. Xehanort groomed me by design -- not you, not Aqua. He took
the very thing that gives my heart light and twisted me around it." Terra's
gaze never wavered from Ven. His hands moved as if he was torn between grasping
and letting go, and Ven wasn't sure whether his eyes and words were reaching
for him or pushing him away. "You... you know the origin of darkness?" Terra
asked, pain clear in his voice. "Darkness came into the world when people
coveted the light. When Maleficent possessed me, I was still aware of
everything that happened. I remember looking down at Aurora and feeling,
physically, the brightness in her heart. I wanted it, Ven. I wanted to take it
and keep it for myself and I didn't even struggle. That hunger is mine."
Ven felt tears come to his eyes. He couldn't help himself. The pain in Terra's
voice reverberated in his heart -- Terra was suffering. He wouldn't see what
Ven saw: a strong and kind fighter determined to set things right. "It's not
your fault," Ven said, his voice cracking with sorrow. Tears spilled down his
cheeks.
Terra's eyes widened, and he reached out to embrace Ven. "I'm sorry. It's
alright," Terra said. Ven cried softly into his shoulder. He hadn't meant to
say 'it's not your fault'. What he wanted to say is I forgive you, we will set
things right, I can't think about Xehanort taking your body without gagging
from rage and anguish. He was frustrated with himself, being comforted by Terra
when he couldn't even explain himself.
It was a short cry. Ven rubbed his eyes. "Ugh, Im sorry. I've been so emotional
lately." He flushed in embarrassment.
"It's okay." Terra gave his shoulder a squeeze. "I'm sorry I got a bit intense
there."
"No, you don't need to apologize--"
"Then neither do you."
"Alright." Ven stepped out of his arms somewhat reluctantly. A part of him felt
that Terra didn't understand, but then again, maybe he was the one who didn't
understand. He was quick to deny Terra's responsibility and therefore his
guilt. Maybe Terra wanted to take some blame, for reasons Ven didn't understand
yet.
Terra took his hand and brought it to his face for a kiss. Ven flushed and felt
the light he had only ever named 'friendship' glow brighter within.
 
-------
 
On the jagged cliffs of Mount Sesame, Sora, Riku, Lea, and Aladdin snuck
towards the thieves camp. It was cold at night, and sands of the desert were an
indigo blue under the silver moon. They had the advantage of height, and could
see the light of a bonfire through the craggy rocks. They lay on their stomachs
to peek over the edge. From up high, they could just barely hear the
conversations from the camp below as the forty thieves ate and drank around the
fire.
The largest tent at the camp was lit from the inside, and shadows placed across
the canvas. Lea kept his eyes there, trying to make out a familiar shape in the
silhouettes. "I don't see the leader," Aladdin said. "But that man there, the
burly guy with two scimitars, he's the second in command I reckon."
There was a bout of laughter from below as one of the thieves leaped over the
huge fire, rolling in the dust and to his feet with a crooked bow. Another was
juggling knives. They seemed like a fun bunch honestly.
"There he is!"
Lea turned his attention back to the tent to see a man walking out of it, lean
and handsome unlike the scarred and somewhat deformed band of thieves. He wore
dark blue garb and held a scepter in his hands. Lea was about to say something
about how that was probably stolen from the palace and definitely looked
magical, but another man walked out of the tent. He didn't look like he
belonged in this world at all.
Isa walked into the camp and into the cold silver edge of moonlight. The warmth
of the bonfire didn't touch his face as if he were anathema to that form of
light. He looked exactly like he did as Saix. Long, frayed blue hair framed the
harsh features of his pale face. Lea had seen him briefly before when he
rescued Sora from becoming the thirteenth vessel, but now that he actually had
a chance to look at him, something was wrong. Isa still had the X-shaped scar
Xemnas had given him. When Lea was restored, the tea drops under his eyes were
gone. It was how he knew he was human again. The members of organization XIII
didn't all have strange marks but most of them did. They were like the weapons
each member manifested: an inextricable part of who they were. Lea thought the
scar would be the same. That scar, that deepened into a horrible mar on Saix's
face in his moments of insanity, represented the way Isa had been corrupted by
Xemnas. And that was a mark that Lea couldn't wipe clean.
Isa and the King of Thieves commanded silence from the group around the fire
and began to speak. The scepter held by His Royal Thiefiness was short and gold
with a huge green stone embedded at the head. Isa eyed it and the man
passively.
"Ask your question, and then return the scepter to me," Isa said.
The Thief laughed, twirling the scepter in his hand. "Now slow your roll,
there's no need to be impatient. I need the oracle to show me the way, and
until I find it I'm not letting this out of my hands."
"Oracle?" Sora whispered.
"Then let me ask my question first," Isa replied. "Then you can take all the
time you need finding this island."
The King of Thieves shook his head. "How can I trust that you won't just
disappear with it into a door of shadows?"
"I'm not the thief."
The king laughed, and out of the corner of his eye Lea saw Aladdin twitch. He
looked over at him and saw Aladdin sneaking closer down the rock face to get
closer to the camp. "Hey!" Lea hissed, getting Sora and Riku's attention. They
quietly pleaded for Aladdin to stay close, but he paid them know mind. At least
he was incredibly sneaky.
"Then it appears we are at an impasse," The King said with a shrug. "You don't
trust us and we don't trust you. How about this: we ask the oracle first, and
you join us on the journey. But you can carry the scepter. The oracle will only
answer one question at a time, so until we arrive at the Vanishing Isle, she
won't answer your question."
Isa stared at the thief appraisingly, and Lea remembered what it was like to
receive that piercing gaze. "Very well," Isa said at last. "Then ask your
question."
If the scepter -- oracle -- whatever -- could answer any question, Lea
understood why Isa was after it. If he got his hands on such a powerful magical
item (and by extension all bajillion Xehanorts) that would be capital B Bad. 
They had to keep the scepter out of his hands, but there was no way they could
take on forty thieves and Isa, so taking it by force wasn't an option. Lea
peered over the rocks, but he caught no sign of Aladdin in the darkness below.
Maybe he had a plan.
Lea looked over at Sora and Riku and got their attention. "We have to get that
scepter," he hissed.
Sora nodded emphatically. "Yeah. Any ideas?"
"I hope Aladdin has one," Lea replied. "He's sneaky enough to nab it if he gets
the opportunity. Us? Not so much. These are professional thieves we're talking
about."
"Why did he go ahead without saying anything?" Riku knit his brows in
frustration. "Maybe... maybe we can provide a distraction."
The words had barely left Riki's mouth when a familiar voice sounded from
below. "Why hello there gentlemen. I was hoping you could help a guy out -- I'm
looking for the forty thieves?"
It was Aladdin. Their jaws dropped and they quickly scrambled to look into the
camp below. Aladdin had his hands up and was smiling cheerfully at the group of
menacing thieves surrounding him. There were cries of "who is this twerp?" and
"how did you find us?" and "should we cut him boss?"
"I'm here to sign up!" Aladdin explained in a playful voice. "You see, I'm a
thief myself."
Isa looked at Aladdin suspiciously. His con might have worked on the thieves,
but Isa was too paranoid not to see it for the play it was. "We need to get
closer," Lea whispered to the others, who nodded. As quietly as they could,
they forged down the rocky slope, but they were nowhere near as quick and
silent as Aladdin had been.
"I've heard tales of the Forty Thieves since I was a kid," they heard Aladdin
say among the sounds of sharpening blades. "I've always wanted to be one of
you."
"Well, therein lies the problem," the King said, in a similarly playful tone.
"There are only ever forty of us. So if you want to join, that means that you
have to take someone's place." The thieves began to laugh excitedly. "And the
only way to do that is by defeating one of them. Men? Anyone feeling spirited
tonight?"
Lea peered around a rock as the crow of thieves cheered. A tall and burly thief
had stepped forward in the circle towards Aladdin. This was a pretty good
distraction. Aladdin could hold his own against one, but could they get close
enough to the scepter?
 
------
 
When you became a nobody it wasn't like you lost your memories all at once.
They were still there, but the memories were of a life that no longer felt like
yours. Without the ability to feel, memories slowly died because there was
nothing to tie them to yourself. There was no self to tie them to. Unless you
actively worked to hold on to them they would fade away. And holding on was too
painful.
If he ever thought about it he would have admitted that, yes, at some point he
gave up on remembering his life as Lea and his friendship with Isa. Through
neglect he killed those insatiable, summer-wild boys. Facts of his previous
life came to him, sometimes. If he needed it, he memorized it; if not, it was
gone. The same was true of preserving memories of his time as a nobody. If he
and Saix had clung to each other as newborn nobodies, remembering that bond was
not worth remembering the harrowing circumstances of those first years.
Axel felt like he didn't exist. Nothing around him was real. He walked through
the word five feet behind his body and hearing his thoughts and words come from
someone else. The fog of existence didn't lend itself well to giving a shit
about anything. So he really didn't care about Xemnas's agenda or the missions
he was set out on, didn't care about following orders so long as no one
harassed him if he went off the book. So he spent unnecessary time with the
people of other worlds. Meddled in their affairs. Lingered just long enough for
his own entertainment but not so long as to draw too much attention. So he took
risks in an attempt to feel something. Maybe put himself and the other members
in danger. Let Xemnas think him a fuck up and then leave him the fuck alone.
Saix was all about rules and order. Saix was Xemnas's second in command, and so
Axel had to answer to him. Coming to his study like a troubled kid being called
to the principal's office. Some days Axel thought Saix hadn't changed much
since becoming a nobody; he had always been cold, calculating, and oozed
indifference. None of the nobodies had feelings but Saix was positively
heartless, only ever treating the others as means to an end, and never showing
the faintest flicker of care for anything other than success. Saix lorded his
apathy over the others, disdaining the organization members' displays of
emotion. How Axel longed to get under his skin.
"I have no more patience for your careless ways," Saix said in an impassive
voice, not bothering to stand from his desk or even put down his paperwork as
Axel entered. His too-pale eyes looked at Axel like he was nothing. "Cease your
troublemaking."
"What, I don't even get a hello?" Axel put a theatrical pout on his face,
knowing that it wouldn't get a reaction out of the other man.
"Your performance was abysmal. You put both yourself and Larxene in danger."
"Larxene helped," Axel countered. "With getting in danger, I mean. Yet you
blame me."
"I'll talk to her later."
Saix spoke like he was reading a dictionary. Axel knew how he felt because he
felt the same way -- empty. But that didn't mean there was nothing to them, and
maybe it was old habit or just the way Axel dealt with it all but he wanted to
provoke Saix. Make it difficult to remain stone cold.
"Not glad that I came back in one piece?" Axel mocked, striding forward. "I
nearly did die back there, you know."
"I'm not glad," Saix said. "Just don't do it again."
Axel frowned. He was hoping Saix would say 'if you died it would spare me a lot
of trouble'. Or something like that. But he didn't even care that much. Axel
leaned on the edge of his desk. "Don't do what again?"
Saix's eyes narrowed slightly. "Do not take unnecessary risks on missions by
engaging in meaningless battles when you can retreat."
"Who says it was meaningless?" Axel countered.
"You were given specific orders. Even you should be able to follow them."
He grinned.'Even you',huh? "Hmm," Axel considered. "But what if the orders are
bad? What if what's best for the mission, or the organization, goes against
orders?"
"I won't play hypotheticals with you."
"Aww, you're no fun anymore. Xemnas sure has made you boring."
Axel was watching him carefully, noticing Saix clench his jaw at the name of
their leader. "I'm not here for your entertainment," Saix said with a slight
edge in his voice. "And there's no fun to be had for any of us. Only your
pathetic mimicry of feeling."
"So cruel!" Axel exclaimed. "What's so detestable about mimicry? Mimicry isn't
fakery, it's a performance, and you might not like the show I put on but can't
you at least appreciate it for the art it is?"
"Your ego continues to astound me."
Axel chuckled and gave Saix a wink. "Oh, I love it when you insult me."
Saix tilted his head. One of his few expressions, if you could call it that,
was contemplation. It was almost like having an interest. "Love." Saix examined
that word. "It sounds so unnatural coming from you."
"Love," Axel said again, giving the word weight and his best mockery of
feeling. "Love.Love. I love fucking up your plans and causing you trouble. I
love playing the fool. I love watching you and waiting for the next instant
you'll snap because I know you're not a perfect emotionless machine."
"You won't distract me with your words."
"I love distracting you."
Axel thought he saw something in his eyes like a wince of pain, but Saix looked
away. "I had hoped to simply tell you to correct your behavior. But if you will
not listen to me, we must find a suitable punishment to curb your lack of
discipline."
Axel laughed heartily. "Punishment? That's good!" He slapped his knee. "What
possible punishment could you give me? I don't care about anything. I don't
care about pain. I have nothing -- there's nothing you can take away from me.
Short of killing me, there's nothing you or Xemnas could do that I would give a
single shit about."
Saix glared at him. There was a small tremor of anger in his voice, and Axel
fixated on it, carving the sound of his words into his mind. "You don't know
what Xemnas could do."
Axel smiled wide. There it was: anger. Or whatever equivalent nobodies had. He
had finally put a crack in Saix's defenses, and it was time to push further.
"Oh?" He inquired venomously. "Is that what Xemnas did to you, to get you on
your leash?"
Saix stood. Axel kept his ground, leaning casually against the desk, and his
eyes never left Saix's face, watching every minute change. Saix wasn't just
angry -- there was something else there. Pain? Frustration? "You're an
imbecile," Saix seethed. "If you keep causing problems then Xemnas will hurt
you or throw you out. Then this will all have been for nothing."
"So you do care about me?" Axel teased, the words coming out of him before he
had time to process the rest of what Saix said. 'This will all have been for
nothing?' What would have been for nothing? it wasn't like Saix needed him.
Saix stepped close to him and grabbed his jaw. "Shut up." Axel flinched, but
was satisfied. He was getting something out of Saix, which was worth the
possibility of getting punched out. Saix towered over him, pushing him against
the desk. His eyes were narrowed into slits. "You have no idea all that I have
done and gone through. And you don't remember. Of course you don't remember."
"What are you talking about?" Axel grabbed Saix's wrist and attempted to free
his jaw, but Saix dug his fingers in, pushing the flesh of Axel's cheeks inward
past his teeth, so he really couldn't speak. He felt the pain from far away.
"I said 'shut up'" Saix hissed. "I will get our hearts back, whether you help
me or get in my way."
Axel's eyes widened. His heart? What was Saix talking about? Of course Axel
wanted his heart back -- he wanted to be whole again. But wanting wasn't
something he was well equipped for. It was fleeting, abstract.I want my heart
back. A thought too bright to stare at directly. He knew the others wanted an
end to the emptiness, but Saix, who thrived in the absence of his heart, who
disdained others attempts at filling that void? Saix wanted his heart back? No.
Not just his. He saidourhearts.
"The only way to get our hearts back is to play along with Xemnas's plans,"
Saix growled, his grip vice-like on Axel's jaw. His brow was furrowed deeply,
his x-shaped scar cutting into his face savagely. His eyes sparked with gold.
"After everything I've done, you forget."
Saix let Axel go by shoving his head away. "What the fuck?" Axel exclaimed,
pushing past Saix and massaging his jaw. He cast his mind back, but memories
were for people with hearts. Saix was cold and uncaring and would always be,
had always been. "What have you ever done for me?" He spat with a viscous
glare.
Saix was changing. His eyes glowed yellow, and his scar was now a huge tear
across his face. He growled and stalked towards Axel, monstrous, emotional.
Axel's heart pounded with excitement. "I promised to get our hearts back," Saix
said in a guttural voice, his sharp canines flashing. Axel backed up until he
hit the wall. "I will do anything to get them back." Saix pinned Axel against
the wall with claw-like hands, fingers elongated and sharp. He bent down to his
in his ear, "Got it memorized?"
Axel shuddered and grinned to himself. This is what he was after: the version
of Saix that lost control, the one that snarled like a dog, the one that - if
felt wasn't the right word - expressed himself. Because that Saix
wasinteresting. "I'll do my best to remember this time," Axel said cheerfully,
as if he wasn't pinned by a half-rabid man. "But I don't get it. If you want a
heart, why do you shit on the others for trying to feel something."
"It's fake," Saix snarled, eyes yellow slits. His grip on Axel's shoulders was
hard enough to bruise. He ignored the pain.
"You sure? You look furious." Axel kept his voice calm and jovial. "Or are you
faking?"
Saix slammed him against the wall and Axel saw stars. Shit. He probably
deserved that. "Why do you mock me?!" Saix yelled, his blue hair bristling and
wild. "You know what I mean! Does this amuse you?!" His face was enraged, and
tears of pain glistened in his glowing eyes. Axel was hurting him; he could see
that clearly. He had found a crack and was prying it open like the jagged scar
that grew too wide on his face.
"This is hilarious," he replied.
Saix swung back a fist and Axel winced. He felt the impact in the wall behind
him, but no pain. He opened his eyes. Saix's fist was quaking in the wall next
to Axel's head. His teeth were bared and he was shaking all over. His fingers
were probably broken. Maybe Axel was pushing him too far.
He didn't care.
"Saix, you need to lighten up," Axel said. "You take what I say way too
seriously. Now why don't you take a chill pill or go for a nice stroll around
the garden--"
Saix kissed him, hard. Axel made a small sound of surprise, but it was
fleeting. He was probably just trying to shut him up again. This was mildly
preferable to having his face grabbed, but not by much. Saix's lips were cold
and dry. He pressed up tightly against Axel, who wasn't really kissing back.
This was sort of interesting, but he didn't feel anything; in fact, he felt
like he was floating from an even further distance. Saix's tongue forced Axel's
lips open, and he began sucking and biting aggressively. Axel tried to break
away but Saix's mouth followed his, bruising his lips. He knew by the familiar
taste that they had done this before; maybe they always did this, and then he
forgot, and Saix grew cold and resentful, an eternal cycle of fucking and
forgetting.
Axel finally returned the kiss, letting Saix into his mouth. The man sounded
desperate, gasping and growling, so unlike his usual controlled manner. Axel's
hands found purchase on his bony hips that were working hard to bruise his own.
Saix was already getting hard, and through the numbness Axel detected a current
of pleasure run down his spine. He tasted blood in his mouth.
Axel turned his head away, and Saix redirected his attention to his neck,
kissing and sucking savagely. Axel couldn't ignore the pain any longer, and
gasped, gritting his teeth. He felt Saix's teeth against his neck and seriously
wondered if the man was going to tear into his jugular. Axel took a fistful of
Saix's hair and tried to pull his head back, saying, "Hey, ease up." Saix
strained against his grip, whimpering, desperate to get back to his neck.
"Saix," he said sharply, but the man ignored him. Axel could feel the hairs
snapping away from Saix's scalp as he struggled to get his mouth around Axel's
neck, and those same hairs were cutting into the flesh of Axel's fingers. The
perverse excitement Axel felt at seeing Saix loose control was curdling into a
sickening fear. If he didn't do something, he wasn't sure that Saix would stop.
"I get it," Axel said, letting go of his hair and wrapping his arms around him,
pulling him close. Saix was leaving bruises all over his neck. He grit his
teeth, but he was above all else a performer, a puppet of his own handling, so
when he spoke his voice was sweet and sinister. "Xemnas isn't giving it to you
good enough, so you come to me."
Saix released his neck with a soft cry, practically clinging to Axel to stay
upright. He was shivering, his face pressed to Axel's chest. Axel took the
chance to catch his breath. It was time to get the upper hand. Axel rolled his
hips against Saix's erection, purring in his ear, "Is the master neglecting
hisdog?"
Saix sobbed, and lifted his face. There were tears leaking from his gold eyes,
and his face was contorted with too many echoes of emotion. Axel unzipped
Saix's robe as a sickening cold settled in his stomach. He grabbed Saix's
leaking cock with a firm grip, and at that point, he had the beast in his
control. He pumped Saix mercilessly, watching the tears streak into the crease
of his scar, bringing him closer to orgasm where he could keep him pliant.
Where he could keep himself safe. Saix moaned and whimpered desperately, his
claws nearly tearing through Axel's robe. His words came out incomplete -
- "Axel, please, please--"
"What do you want?" Axel asked, feeling Saix thrust up into his hand. "Do you
truly want anything? Do you want your heart back? Do you want me to bend you
over your desk and fuck you till you scream? Do you want to kill me? Do you
want to feel?"
Saix came with a shout and slumped to his knees, boneless. He sat there,
panting, and Axel saw himself from a mile away, wiping his hand on his cloak.
When Saix looked up, the glow in his eyes was gone, and his scar was again a
thin X across his face. His expression was utterly blank.
Axel looked at him and thought he'd be sick. He could still see the tears on
Saix's face. He just sat there and stared up at him.
Axel slid down the wall, and hugged his knees, burying his face. Saix's knees
were touching his. He tried to make sense of the nausea and pain he felt, and
it didn't take long to figure out -- he was a monster. Saix was too. And if
they cared at all, they would hurt like this.
"I'll remember," Axel muttered. "I won't forget. I'm sorry, Saix."
"No you're not," Saix said, in a perfectly neutral voice. "Neither of us are."
 
-------
 
They were learning how to waltz. Ven chuckled as the petite blue fairy,
Merryweather, instructed him on the step sequence despite the fact that she was
floating two feet above the ground. Their visit to the Enchanted Castle had
coincided with a summer celebration, and the grounds were filled with finely
dressed nobles indulging in the Queen's generosity. The gleaming dance hall was
filled with beautiful music and the murmur of jubilant conversation. Queen
Aurora sat on her throne next to her King, receiving guests.
He saw Aqua and Kairi practice the dance together, Aqua taking the lead. Kairi
was a quick learner and had already mastered the steps, but it was Aqua who
really charmed the room. Despite her shuffling steps, Aqua danced with an
undeniable charm that captured the attention of many guests. The song ended,
and Ven bowed to Merryweather.
"May I have this next dance?"
He turned to see Terra smiling at him with a proffered hand. He looked handsome
in his borrowed finery (their adventuring clothes being too filthy after the
exploration in the forest, and conspicuous to boot.) He wore a billowing white
shirt under a brown and bronze waistcoat. Ven was similarly dressed in a blue
waistcoat with gold trim. He felt awkward in the clothes to be honest, but
Terra looked just like a prince. He took Terra's hand with a smile. "Of course.
But I can't promise I won't step on your feet. I haven't gotten the hang of it
yet."
Terra took the lead and soon they were spinning on the dance floor. Terra's
movements were sure and gentle, and Ven found it easy to follow along. He could
feel how solid Terra was, and after a minute stopped worrying about counting
his steps and just enjoyed the dance. The first song seemed to end too quickly,
so they danced another.
"I talked with Queen Aurora," Terra said as a slower number began.
"How did it go?" Ven asked.
Terra squeezed his hand for a moment. "It went well. I feel a lot better now."
He smiled warmly. "We talked about Maleficent, and how she has manipulated
others. She understood better than I expected."
"Im glad," Ven replied. He could see the relief in Terra and how a weight was
lifting from his shoulders. As they danced, the rest of the world faded from
Ven's attention. He felt like he was floating as Terra supported him with
strong arms, turning to the music. Even though Terra was significantly taller
than him, it seemed that their faces were close. There was a slight flush to
Terra's cheeks and his eyes were radiant. Never leaving Ven's face. Not once.
They only stopped dancing when the end of the song found them breathless.
"Fresh air?" Ventura suggested, breathing heavily. Terra nodded, a slight sheen
of sweat on his brow, and took Ven's arm. They wandered away from the bustling
crowd, and found an empty balcony overlooking the castle woods. The night air
was cool and pleasant against his skin, warm from dancing, and being close to
Terra.
"She reminds me of you." Terra walked them to the railing of the balcony,
fingers ghosting along his palm as he let go of Ven's arm. He looked up to the
starry sky.
"Who does?" Ven asked. It felt strange to no be touching Terra, so he stood
close enough to lean his shoulder on the other man. Terra leaned back towards
him.
"Queen Aurora," Terra answered in a reverent voice.
"What?" Ven said, taken aback. "Are you getting us blondes mixed up?"
"Hah, no -- it's not that." Terra smiled, still looking at the stars. "When I
first saw her, and felt her heart, so filled with light... it reminded me of
you. I swear I could see you lying in her place, like when you first came to
the Land of Departure."
Ven's breath caught in his chest, and the cool air did nothing to abate the
heat rising in his face. He laughed awkwardly. "Are you calling me a princess?"
Terra looked at him, a nervous smile on his lips. Terra: nervous? That was new.
"I just mean that... You're the brightest light in my life. I recognized that
kind of heart in Aurora. I --" He paused, his gaze falling. "I must sound
unbearably cheesy right now."
"Kind of," Ven admitted. "But we are chosen guardians of light literally
fighting darkness? So cheese comes with the territory."
Terra laughed at that. "You're right but is that any excuse?"
"No, it's not," Ven joked with a grin. "I can never forgive you for calling me
a princess."
"I didn't --" Terra blushed. "I meant--"
"'You're the brightest light in my life?'" Ven meant to tease Terra, but the
joke began to fall away. Saying Terra's words made him really hear them, and
his insides began to glow, and Terra's mouth was parted in something like
shock, and when did his face get that close?
"I meant," Terra repeated, breathless, "that I'm utterly, completely in love
with you."
"Oh," Ven said.
He kissed Terra, because that was the thing to do. When your crush-turned-best
friend confesses his love for you on the balcony of a romantic castle after a
decade of near-death and separation, you kiss him. That's how the story goes.
That's what makes sense.
The kiss was wonderful.
He didn’t think of Axel at all.
 
———
 
The Vanishing Isle was sinking and turning into gold. The ancient city resting
ruined atop a giant turtle was all mythic treasure, and even as the forty
thieves turned on each other in the fight for higher ground, they succumbed to
their greed. Snatching jewels, cutting each other’s throats for loot before the
ground beneath them transformed into gold. The Hand of Midas rendered
everything it touched gold, and soon the Vanishing Isle was decorated with
golden statues of thieves, frozen while slitting each other’s throats for
riches. The King of Thieves (Aladdin’s father, it turned out), had wrapped the
cursed Hand in cloth, but the damage was already done. Sora, and Riku scrambled
for higher ground before the gold consumed them, while Aladdin on the flying
carpet searched desperately for his father.
Lea climbed away from the ever-encroaching gold, fighting through Isa’s swarm
of heartless. He could see him atop a tower, scepter in hand. Lea ran,
incinerating heartless left and right, as the ruins sunk beneath his feet. He
just had to get a little further.
Isa raised the Oracle’s Scepter high, his blue hair wild in the ocean air, his
eyes gleaming with the gold from below. “Oracle,” Isa said, and the scepter
began to glow. “Who is —“
Lea jumped upon the platform, hand touching the ground as he broke into a
charge towards Isa. Suddenly, those gold eyes were on him. Lea screamed, fire
bursting from the ground in columns. Isa’s claymore appeared in his other hand,
and he met Lea’s charge with force enough to blast the surrounding heartless
off the top of the tower and into the sea of gold below. They fought, Isa
wielding his giant weapon one-handed with the same impossible strength he had
as a nobody, the other grasped around the scepter. Lea was an inferno, his key
blade swinging arcs of fire.
Isa pushed Lea off, and he skidded to the edge of the tower. Isa jumped,
swinging his claymore high, but Lea rolled to the side. The stone crumbled
under the impact of Isa’s blow. Lea jumped to his feet and met Isa’s blade
again. Blow after blow was met, deflected, returned. Their blades caught, and
Isa was inches away, his eyes intense but devoid of madness. The gold there was
just a reflection of below. “Isa!” Lea growled, feeling the tower beneath his
feet crumbling. “Why—“
The stone cracked, their footing slipped, and blades crashed to the ground. The
scepter went flying. Lea leaped back — a huge rift had opened in the tower, and
half was sinking rapidly. The scepter bounced and rolled to the edge. Isa and
Lea glanced at each other, then raced towards it. His key blade cut sparks into
the stone as he ran, which fanned into flames. Isa turned to meet the oncoming
fire, blocking it with his claymore, then pulling around for a blow —
Lea kicked the scepter off the edge.
Isa sent Lea flying across the tower with the flat of his blade. Lea fell,
hard, the wind knocked out of him. He couldn’t breathe. He rolled on his side
and tried to push himself up, feeling the familiar pain of broken ribs. Isa
stared over the edge where the scepter had gone flying, a slack grip on his
claymore. Shoulders slumped in defeat. If Lea could breathe he would laugh.
Isa turned, and glared at Lea as they sunk into gold. He didn’t say anything.
After a moment, he opened a portal of darkness and disappeared.
Didn’t even give him a chance for a witty retort.
 
 
When Sora, Riku, and Lea returned to Radiant Garden, the other keyblade
wielders had already returned from the Enchanted Castle. It was past dinner,
and the three were exhausted from their narrow escape from the Vanishing Isle.
On his way to his room, Lea heard voices from the common room, and paused to
take a look. Terra, Roxas, Aqua and Kairi were all sitting on the couches,
talking casually with a few mugs of tea.
Lea paused. There was no reason not to join them and hear about their mission.
He wouldn’t be intruding. He had a wild tale to tell of giant turtles and
Aladdin’s missing father. It’s just, he was tired. And at that moment, it felt
impossible to enter that room and strike up conversation. It wasn’t because
Roxas and Terra were holding hands. It wasn’t because he looked so goddamn
happy, or that Lea couldn’t get the scepter out of his mind, and the question
he had wanted to ask it. He was just tired.
Lea went to his room.
He didn’t think of Roxas at all.
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